What are the best dating sites for serious relationships for professionals?

Hoping someone here has actually tested this: What are the best dating sites for serious relationships for professionals? No wrong answers here.

I went in optimistic about two of the bigger dating sites with nothing much to show for it. My real question is whether the newer options are any better than the established ones if you are not in a major city.

• Note how reporting actually works first if privacy matters to you
• Note how blocking is handled at the start if you plan to use it long-term
• Verify how blocking is handled every time in the first day or two
• Confirm what data the signup form asks for first especially on a platform you have not used before

Realistically, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck though your mileage will vary. I would put money on it.

• Test the age range settings without exception if you plan to use it long-term
• Check how matches are ordered first if you plan to use it long-term
• Work out how matches are ordered up front before you upload anything personal
• Read up on whether messaging is capped up front before you widen your search

Anyone else find that — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? Asking for a friend, obviously.

Different experience here. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Could easily be a sample size problem. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

Worth flagging: links dropped into a conversation with no context. I stopped giving second chances on that one. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.

Ended up spending most of my time on Luvdate app and the reply rate was noticeably better.

A couple of people in my circle swear by Datescout for the same reason.

Keep an eye on copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.

Something I have wondered — is a shorter bio genuinely better or just easier to write? No agenda, just curious.

Earlier this year, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and I got three real plans out of it. Nothing scientific about it.

Going to push back slightly. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Your experience may well differ. Small sample on my side too.

Between the free options I tested, Datedesire's free tier had the least aggressive upsell.

The first fortnight, I tested two profiles side by side and I stopped taking silences personally. Your area may behave differently.

Speaking only for myself, consistency beats any single clever trick and it took me too long to learn. I would put money on it.

Mild warning: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It rarely turns out to be innocent.

Since this thread is active — has anyone found dating sites for professionals that behave differently from the rest? Someone here must have tried both.

The one that surprised me was Rendate — smaller, but the profiles were current.

For what it is worth, the first message decides almost everything if you are looking for something specific. I hold that loosely.

• Note how blocking is handled on day one before writing a single message
• Double-check whether messaging is capped up front before writing a single message
• Question whether your profile is visible by default early on on any platform you are considering

Worth testing for a week: use a dedicated email address. That one change fixed most of my problems. Reversible if you hate it.

Different experience here. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. Worth hearing both sides.

A friend has had far more luck on Flurrydate app than on anything mainstream.

I will be the dissenting voice. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. I would still test it yourself.

After rewriting my profile, I dropped every conversation that stalled twice and I would do the same again. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.

Worth flagging: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. I stopped giving second chances on that one. The polite version costs you a week.

Gave over on DatingFly a fair run last month and it held up better than I expected.

One thing to watch: accounts created the same week they message you. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. It is the cheapest filter you have.

• Check how matches are ordered every time while the account is still new
• Compare how quickly support responds straight away before you upload anything personal
• Confirm how many photos are required carefully on any platform you are considering
• Note the refund and cancellation terms straight away on any platform you are considering
• Note whether messaging is capped first before writing a single message

For most of last year, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and I finally stopped wasting evenings. That held for about two months.

Small change worth trying: cut your photo count in half. You will know within a week whether it works for you. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.

Related, and I am curious — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? I have never seen data either way.

When I first started, I let the other person pick the plan and the quality improved more than the quantity. That held for about two months.

That has not been my experience at all. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Not saying everyone else is wrong. That is one person's view against the thread.

Two years of this later, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them which is why the generic advice keeps failing. That is the short version.

Worth flagging: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. It is the cheapest filter you have.

One more thing I have never resolved — is it different if you are over forty? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.

That has not been my experience at all. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Your experience may well differ. Just adding another data point.

Having tried most of them, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one at least in a mid-sized area. It is a boring answer and a true one.

If you want a shortcut: stop treating it like a numbers game. That one change fixed most of my problems. Reversible if you hate it.