Reposting this from another board because it got buried: What is the seeking dating site actually used for? Bonus points if you have used it in the last few months.
Someone recommended one of the newer seeking dating site and the matches were nowhere near me. Where I need help is whether the same advice applies outside big cities without spending anything to find out.
Adding a counterpoint. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Not saying everyone else is wrong. I might be the exception.
Having tried most of them, reply rates say more about timing than about looks which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
The advice I wish I had: cut your photo count in half. That one change fixed most of my problems. You will not need a second attempt.
Careful with profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. I stopped giving second chances on that one. Most people ignore it once and regret it.
For what it is worth, Souldate (free to message) was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Something nobody mentions: profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. It is the clearest signal there is. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.
That has not been my experience at all. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Your experience may well differ. I might be the exception.
Tangent, sorry — is it different if you are over forty? Might just be me overthinking it.
Tried Luvdate's free tier on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.
I will be the dissenting voice. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Small sample on my side too.
Low-risk approach: write one sentence that only you could have written. It is the only advice here I would give twice. It compounds with everything else.
Hard disagree on one point. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Worth testing both ways. Just adding another data point.
If you want a free option without the upsell, over on Datedesire is where I would start.
For the people saying otherwise — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Might just be me overthinking it.
Since switching my settings, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and I would do the same again. Results were steady after the first week.
For what it is worth, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one at least in a mid-sized area. That is the short version.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Worth testing both ways. That is one person's view against the thread.
Before anything else: turn off notifications and check twice a day. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
Realistically, review sites and real experience rarely agree which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Make of that what you will.
While we are here — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Feels like something someone must have tested.
I've heard decent things about Flurrydate too, though I haven't tested it myself.
Worth testing for a week: turn off notifications and check twice a day. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Reversible if you hate it.
For what it is worth, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are if you are looking for something specific. Feel free to prove me wrong.
That has not been my experience at all. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
One thing to watch: accounts created the same week they message you. Report it rather than just ignoring it. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Going to push back slightly. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Just adding another data point.
Low-risk approach: set your radius smaller than feels sensible. It is the only advice here I would give twice. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
Going to push back slightly. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Might just be my area. That is one person's view against the thread.
