Are there any polyamorous dating sites free for couples seeking a third?

Asking because the advice online contradicts itself: Are there any polyamorous dating sites free for couples seeking a third? Happy to hear negative experiences too.

I gave up on any polyamorous dating sites and support never replied. The specific thing I am after is whether reply rates are as bad as they look if you are not in a major city.

• Assess the distance filter default in the first day or two
• Check how matches are ordered in the first day or two
• Double-check whether profiles are verified straight away before you widen your search
• Look at how matches are ordered up front especially on a platform you have not used before

If you want a shortcut: stop opening with a compliment. You will know within a week whether it works for you. You will not need a second attempt.

Hard disagree on one point. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Broadly speaking, review sites and real experience rarely agree once you have been at it a few weeks. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.

Something I have wondered — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Could be worth its own thread.

I keep a second profile on over on DatingFly and it pulls a different crowd entirely.

For about six weeks, I messaged first every single time and I finally stopped wasting evenings. I would call that a real effect.

• Work out how reporting actually works every time rather than taking the marketing at face value
• Test how quickly support responds before anything else before you upload anything personal
• Find out whether your profile is visible by default without exception before writing a single message
• Double-check how blocking is handled early on rather than taking the marketing at face value
• Work out whether profiles are verified while the account is still new

Something I have wondered — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Someone here must have tried both.

Got burned by this: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. It saves a lot of wasted messages. Better safe than curious.

Someone in another thread pointed me at Turndate and it turned out to be decent advice.

Anyone else find that — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.

Going to push back slightly. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Could easily be a sample size problem. I have been wrong about this before.

After a friend nagged me into it, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and the difference showed up within a week. Repeated it twice to be sure.

Ended up spending most of my time on DatingFly and the reply rate was noticeably better.

Respectfully, I read it differently. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Your experience may well differ. There is room for both to be true.

Before anything else: stop opening with a compliment. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.

Since switching my settings, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and I finally stopped wasting evenings. Small sample, but consistent.

The one that surprised me was over on Turndate — smaller, but the profiles were current.

For most of last year, I messaged first every single time and I would do the same again. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.

• Note the refund and cancellation terms before anything else before writing a single message
• Review how quickly support responds every time if you plan to use it long-term
• Look at how matches are ordered without exception rather than taking the marketing at face value
• Note whether messaging is capped before you upload anything personal
• Note how many photos are required on day one before you widen your search

If you want a shortcut: use a dedicated email address. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. It works better than it sounds.

Not sure I agree with the thread so far. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. I would still recommend trying it yourself. That is one person's view against the thread.

Broadly speaking, reply rates say more about timing than about looks at least in a mid-sized area. It took a while to accept.

Tried rendate.site on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.

Adding a counterpoint. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Speaking only for myself, the busiest platform is not automatically the best one for you once you have been at it a few weeks. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.

Worth asking — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? I have never seen data either way.

Piggybacking on that — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? Would love a straight answer on that.

Adding a counterpoint. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Happy to be an outlier on that. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

If nothing else, do this: stop opening with a compliment. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Zero cost to test it.

A couple of people in my circle swear by Datedesire for the same reason.