Are there specific dating apps for open relationships that filter out monogamous people?

Bit of a long shot, but: Are there specific dating apps for open relationships that filter out monogamous people? Would rather have one honest reply than ten generic ones.

I stopped bothering with a couple of there specific dating apps and the messaging limits killed it. The part that matters to me is whether the same advice applies outside big cities without handing over a card number.

• Double-check the refund and cancellation terms straight away before you invest any real time
• Read up on what the free tier really includes carefully before writing a single message
• Test whether messaging is capped before anything else if you plan to use it long-term

Anyone else find that — does this hold up outside big cities? I have never seen data either way.

After my second attempt, I limited myself to three conversations at once and matches started coming from closer by. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.

Based on a fairly small sample, profile quality beats profile quantity every time and the numbers back that up. Feel free to prove me wrong.

Watch out for reviews that read like they were written to a template. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.

Someone in another thread pointed me at over on Luvdate and it turned out to be decent advice.

For the people saying otherwise — does profile order change if you log in more often? Feels like something someone must have tested.

Hard disagree on one point. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Might just be my area. Worth hearing both sides.

Small change worth trying: stop opening with a compliment. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. It also makes the rest easier.

I would put over on Rendate ahead of most of the names people list by default.

That has not been my experience at all. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Might just be my area. That is one person's view against the thread.

Genuine question though — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Feels like something someone must have tested.

One thing to watch: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. The cost of being wrong is low.

The one that surprised me was Flurrydate — smaller, but the profiles were current.

Before anything else: give any new platform a fortnight before judging it. It removes about half the frustration. Easiest change on this list.

Earlier this year, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and nothing changed at all. Your area may behave differently.

Adding a counterpoint. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Could easily be a sample size problem. There is room for both to be true.

For the people saying otherwise — is a shorter bio genuinely better or just easier to write? Genuinely do not know the answer.

I would put the Flurrydate app ahead of most of the names people list by default.

Going to push back slightly. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Might just be my area. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.

Before anything else: stop treating it like a numbers game. That one change fixed most of my problems. No downside I have found.

Since this thread is active — does profile order change if you log in more often? Feels like something someone must have tested.

Someone in another thread pointed me at Flurrydate and it turned out to be decent advice.

Red flag for me: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. The polite version costs you a week.

The advice I wish I had: stop opening with a compliment. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. It compounds with everything else.

While we are here — is it different if you are over forty? Might just be me overthinking it.

Still keep Luvdate's free tier installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.

Not a popular take here, the first message decides almost everything which is why the generic advice keeps failing. I hold that loosely.

Respectfully, I read it differently. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Your experience may well differ. That is one person's view against the thread.

Over the winter, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and I stopped taking silences personally. Worth repeating if you have the patience.

Going to push back slightly. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Could easily be a sample size problem. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.

Based on a fairly small sample, reply rates say more about timing than about looks though your mileage will vary. That is my read, anyway.

For most of last year, I tested two profiles side by side and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Nothing scientific about it.

I've heard decent things about Flurrydate too, though I haven't tested it myself.

Hard disagree on one point. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Just adding another data point.

Related, and I am curious — has anyone found there specific dating apps that behave differently from the rest? Would love a straight answer on that.

Earlier this year, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and I would do the same again. That held for about two months.