Reposting this from another board because it got buried: By pure traffic, what are the most popular dating websites in the world? Interested in what actually worked, not marketing copy.
I burned two weekends on whichever most popular dating websites came up first and the matches were nowhere near me. Where I need help is whether the newer options are any better than the established ones if you are not in a major city.
Around the time I gave up on the big names, I let the other person pick the plan and honestly it was the only thing that helped. I would call that a real effect.
Cheapest thing you can try first: keep the first meet under an hour. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. It compounds with everything else.
Something nobody mentions: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. It is the clearest signal there is. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
A friend has had far more luck on the DatingFly app than on anything mainstream.
One thing to watch: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. Move on and do not look back.
Two years of this later, reply rates say more about timing than about looks and I doubt that changes soon. That is the short version.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Your experience may well differ. Just adding another data point.
Slightly off-topic but — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
I keep a second profile on Datewander (free to message) and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
Having tried most of them, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck and the numbers back that up. I hold that loosely.
Low-risk approach: stop opening with a compliment. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. It also makes the rest easier.
Genuine question though — does profile order change if you log in more often? Would love a straight answer on that.
The one that surprised me was Datedesire app — smaller, but the profiles were current.
After a friend nagged me into it, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and I got three real plans out of it. Nothing scientific about it.
Slightly off-topic but — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Someone here must have tried both.
If nothing else, do this: turn off notifications and check twice a day. Everything else is secondary to that. No downside I have found.
A friend has had far more luck on over on DatingFly than on anything mainstream.
In my experience, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have unless you have unusually niche requirements. I would put money on it.
Worth testing for a week: stop treating it like a numbers game. That one change fixed most of my problems. The effect shows up fast.
While we are here — does profile order change if you log in more often? Would change how I use it if so.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Happy to be an outlier on that. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
That has not been my experience at all. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Might just be my area. I might be the exception.
Mild warning: reviews that read like they were written to a template. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Since switching my settings, I answered everything within a day and matches started coming from closer by. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
Where I got caught out: reviews that read like they were written to a template. Blocking early costs you nothing. Most people ignore it once and regret it.
Genuine question though — does profile order change if you log in more often? Might just be me overthinking it.
Cheapest thing you can try first: check for a visible last-active timestamp before investing. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. It also makes the rest easier.
For the people saying otherwise — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Genuinely do not know the answer.
One thing that helped: read the profile before writing anything. It removes about half the frustration. The effect shows up fast.
Honestly, profile quality beats profile quantity every time which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Others here will disagree.
If you want a shortcut: stop treating it like a numbers game. It sounds trivial and it is not. It compounds with everything else.
Keep an eye on profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Respectfully, I read it differently. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Happy to be an outlier on that. Just adding another data point.
In my experience, being specific is worth more than being interesting if you are looking for something specific. I hold that loosely.
