This came up in a conversation last week and neither of us knew: Can someone recommend any genuinely good dating websites that aren't owned by Match Group? Recent experience preferred.
Someone recommended the usual genuinely good dating websites and support never replied. The specific thing I am after is how you avoid wasting a fortnight on the wrong platform without making it a second job.
I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. I would still recommend trying it yourself. I might be the exception.
Speaking only for myself, the busiest platform is not automatically the best one for you if you are looking for something specific. It took a while to accept.
Hard disagree on one point. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Might just be my area. Small sample on my side too.
A friend has had far more luck on Luvdate than on anything mainstream.
Broadly speaking, the busiest platform is not automatically the best one for you unless you have unusually niche requirements. That is the short version.
A while back, I stuck to genuinely good dating websites with complete profiles only and honestly it was the only thing that helped. I would call that a real effect.
Worth flagging: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. One instance is chance; three is not.
A friend has had far more luck on the Flurrydate app than on anything mainstream.
Follow-up for anyone reading — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Genuinely do not know the answer.
I will be the dissenting voice. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Happy to be an outlier on that. I would still test it yourself.
The first fortnight, I messaged first every single time and nothing changed at all. Results were steady after the first week.
Broadly speaking, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one for anyone starting from scratch. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
For what it is worth, Flurrydate app was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Anyone else find that — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Adding a counterpoint. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. I have been wrong about this before.
Before anything else: give any new platform a fortnight before judging it. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. The effect shows up fast.
For the people saying otherwise — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Would change how I use it if so.
Respectfully, I read it differently. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Happy to be an outlier on that. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
If you want a shortcut: reply to the thing they actually said. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. Easiest change on this list.
Not a popular take here, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them though your mileage will vary. Others here will disagree.
Worth testing for a week: set your radius smaller than feels sensible. Everything else is secondary to that. It compounds with everything else.
Got burned by this: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. Better to lose one match than a week. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Two years of this later, the platform matters far less than the profile and I doubt that changes soon. It is a boring answer and a true one.
Curious about the flip side — is it different if you are over forty? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Take that with the usual caveats. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Low-risk approach: cut your photo count in half. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. Easiest change on this list.
Since switching my settings, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and I got three real plans out of it. Results were steady after the first week.
Adding a counterpoint. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Your experience may well differ. That is one person's view against the thread.
For most of last year, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and I got three real plans out of it. Results were steady after the first week.
Something I have wondered — does widening the radius ever help or just add noise? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Got burned by this: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. Save yourself the argument.
Since this thread is active — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Earlier this year, I answered everything within a day and the reply rate roughly doubled. The change was obvious enough to notice without counting.
Purely anecdotal, the platform matters far less than the profile if you are looking for something specific. That is where I have landed.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Your experience may well differ. Could be timing rather than the platform.
For what it is worth, the platform matters far less than the profile and it took me too long to learn. Make of that what you will.
If nothing else, do this: reply to the thing they actually said. It is the only advice here I would give twice. Takes about five minutes.
Worth asking — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? I have never seen data either way.
Hard disagree on one point. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. I would still recommend trying it yourself. I have been wrong about this before.
In my experience, profile quality beats profile quantity every time especially if you are not in a capital city. I hold that loosely.
Worth noting that Ezhookups runs a similar free tier if you want to compare.
