Is match the leading online dating site for singles & personals still the best?

Reposting this from another board because it got buried: Is match the leading online dating site for singles & personals still the best? Happy to hear negative experiences too.

I have tested the usual leading online dating site and I want to know if that is normal. The part that matters to me is whether the same advice applies outside big cities before committing any real time to it.

• Read up on the last-active timestamp without exception especially on a platform you have not used before
• Question the refund and cancellation terms every time before you upload anything personal
• Double-check how quickly support responds early on in the first day or two
• Note what the free tier really includes properly in the first day or two
• Assess the age range settings up front if you plan to use it long-term

Tangent, sorry — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Would change how I use it if so.

• Double-check the age range settings before anything else rather than taking the marketing at face value
• Work out how quickly support responds on day one rather than taking the marketing at face value
• Question the age range settings without exception while the account is still new
• Double-check the distance filter default at the start so you are not surprised later
• Check whether profiles are verified at the start before you widen your search

Having tried most of them, consistency beats any single clever trick once you have been at it a few weeks. Happy to be argued with.

Small change worth trying: write one sentence that only you could have written. You will know within a week whether it works for you. The effect shows up fast.

Respectfully, I read it differently. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Could easily be a sample size problem. I would still test it yourself.

Tried Rendate on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.

That has not been my experience at all. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. I would still recommend trying it yourself. I have been wrong about this before.

Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Might just be my area. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Something I have wondered — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.

Small change worth trying: put a question at the end of every opener. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Takes about five minutes.

I keep a second profile on the Datebound app and it pulls a different crowd entirely.

That has not been my experience at all. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Might just be my area. Worth hearing both sides.

The thing that annoyed me most: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. There is no upside to waiting it out.

Two years of this later, profile quality beats profile quantity every time which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Others here will disagree.

A friend has had far more luck on Datedesire than on anything mainstream.

Small change worth trying: cut your photo count in half. Everything else is secondary to that. Easiest change on this list.

The thing that annoyed me most: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. I stopped giving second chances on that one. The polite version costs you a week.

While we are here — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.

Over the winter, I answered everything within a day and nothing changed at all. It was the only variable I changed.

The one that surprised me was over on Rendate — smaller, but the profiles were current.

I will be the dissenting voice. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Could easily be a sample size problem. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

That has not been my experience at all. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Worth testing both ways. Just adding another data point.

For most of last year, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and I finally stopped wasting evenings. Nothing scientific about it.

Least effort, most return: reply to the thing they actually said. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.

Once I narrowed my radius, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and honestly it was the only thing that helped. It was the only variable I changed.

Adding a counterpoint. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Not saying everyone else is wrong. I might be the exception.

In my experience, being specific is worth more than being interesting and nobody wants to hear it. Make of that what you will.

Got burned by this: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. I stopped giving second chances on that one. Most people ignore it once and regret it.

Two years of this later, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and it took me too long to learn. That is the short version.

Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Worth hearing both sides.

Piggybacking on that — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Would change how I use it if so.

Realistically, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and nobody wants to hear it. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.

• Confirm how blocking is handled straight away rather than taking the marketing at face value
• Confirm the refund and cancellation terms every time if you plan to use it long-term
• Verify how quickly support responds early on so you are not surprised later

Adding a counterpoint. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Take that with the usual caveats. I would still test it yourself.

For about six weeks, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and the conversations got shorter but better. It was the only variable I changed.

One thing to watch: accounts created the same week they message you. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. Move on and do not look back.

Not a popular take here, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.

Adding a counterpoint. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Your experience may well differ. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

Before anything else: use a dedicated email address. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Takes about five minutes.