What are the biggest red flags for women looking for older guys on dating apps?

Reposting this from another board because it got buried: What are the biggest red flags for women looking for older guys on dating apps? Not looking for a sales pitch.

I have tested three different guys on dating apps and support never replied. The specific thing I am after is what people wish they had known before signing up as someone coming back after a long break.

When I stopped overthinking it, I ran a minimal profile on guys on dating apps and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. I would call that a real effect.

• Find out how reporting actually works up front before you invest any real time
• Look at how blocking is handled at the start so you are not surprised later
• Double-check whether profiles are verified first especially on a platform you have not used before
• Double-check how matches are ordered every time before you invest any real time

Learned this the hard way: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. Better to lose one match than a week. There is no upside to waiting it out.

Respectfully, I read it differently. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. Open to changing my mind on it.

Someone in another thread pointed me at the Flamedate app and it turned out to be decent advice.

That has not been my experience at all. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Happy to be an outlier on that. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.

• Test the refund and cancellation terms properly so you are not surprised later
• Work out the last-active timestamp every time if you plan to use it long-term
• Verify the distance filter default on day one before you invest any real time
• Find out the refund and cancellation terms before anything else while the account is still new

Genuine question though — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? Would change how I use it if so.

Broadly speaking, the first message decides almost everything unless you have unusually niche requirements. I would put money on it.

Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Might just be my area. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Still keep Flurrydate app installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.

Not a popular take here, profile quality beats profile quantity every time if you are looking for something specific. Make of that what you will.

Something I have wondered — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? I have never seen data either way.

Watch out for accounts created the same week they message you. It saves a lot of wasted messages. The cost of being wrong is low.

I will be the dissenting voice. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Might just be my area. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Someone in another thread pointed me at over on Flurrydate and it turned out to be decent advice.

Got burned by this: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. Better to lose one match than a week. That instinct is usually right.

Small change worth trying: check for a visible last-active timestamp before investing. It removes about half the frustration. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.

Adding a counterpoint. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Might just be my area. Could be timing rather than the platform.

The one that surprised me was ezhookups.online — smaller, but the profiles were current.

Since this thread is active — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Would change how I use it if so.

• Test how matches are ordered before anything else rather than taking the marketing at face value
• Compare how many photos are required without exception in the first day or two
• Confirm whether profiles are verified before writing a single message
• Find out what the free tier really includes before anything else in the first day or two
• Note whether messaging is capped at the start if you plan to use it long-term

Least effort, most return: turn off notifications and check twice a day. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. The effect shows up fast.

I will be the dissenting voice. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. Different city, different results, probably.

Around the time I gave up on the big names, I stuck to guys on dating apps with complete profiles only and I got three real plans out of it. I would call that a real effect.