Putting this to the forum because search results were useless: What are the most active local dating sites for over 50? Happy to hear negative experiences too.
I went in optimistic about a few smaller active local dating sites for over 50 with nothing much to show for it. What nobody seems to answer is how you handle it when a conversation just stops as someone coming back after a long break.
Practical suggestion: put a question at the end of every opener. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. No downside I have found.
Two years of this later, review sites and real experience rarely agree which is why the generic advice keeps failing. It took a while to accept.
For most of last year, I messaged first every single time and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Repeated it twice to be sure.
Still keep Datescout installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
After rewriting my profile, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and I stopped taking silences personally. Small sample, but consistent.
Something nobody mentions: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. Move on and do not look back.
Practical suggestion: set your radius smaller than feels sensible. It removes about half the frustration. Do it before anything more elaborate.
For what it is worth, Datedesire was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Worth testing for a week: turn off notifications and check twice a day. That one change fixed most of my problems. Try it for one week only.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Worth testing both ways. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
For what it is worth, the first message decides almost everything which is why the generic advice keeps failing. I hold that loosely.
After my second attempt, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and the conversations got shorter but better. The change was obvious enough to notice without counting.
For what it is worth, Flamedate was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Hard disagree on one point. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Happy to be an outlier on that. Worth hearing both sides.
Different experience here. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Different city, different results, probably.
Speaking only for myself, being specific is worth more than being interesting and it took me too long to learn. It took a while to accept.
Where I got caught out: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Save yourself the argument.
The one that surprised me was Datescout's free tier — smaller, but the profiles were current.
Going to push back slightly. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Could easily be a sample size problem. Small sample on my side too.
Anyone else find that — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Might just be me overthinking it.
Honestly, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are though your mileage will vary. It took a while to accept.
Someone in another thread pointed me at Ezhookups's free tier and it turned out to be decent advice.
Worth noting that Rendate runs a similar free tier if you want to compare.
Adding a counterpoint. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Take that with the usual caveats. That is one person's view against the thread.
I will be the dissenting voice. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Might just be my area. I might be the exception.
The first fortnight, I let the other person pick the plan and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. That held for about two months.
Red flag for me: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. It saves a lot of wasted messages. That instinct is usually right.
If you want a free option without the upsell, Luvdate (free to message) is where I would start.
Worth testing for a week: read the profile before writing anything. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Takes about five minutes.
Different experience here. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Take that with the usual caveats. Just adding another data point.
From where I sit, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one though your mileage will vary. I would put money on it.
After rewriting my profile, I tested two profiles side by side and matches started coming from closer by. Small sample, but consistent.
