Reposting this from another board because it got buried: What are the most popular gay video chat sites for bears and cubs? No wrong answers here.
I have had mixed results with a few smaller gay video chat sites for bears and cubs and I would rather not repeat the mistake. My real question is how long it normally takes before anything happens when you have already tried the obvious options.
Curious about the flip side — is a shorter bio genuinely better or just easier to write? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Adding a counterpoint. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Different city, different results, probably.
For most of last year, I kept my filters tight and the reply rate roughly doubled. I would call that a real effect.
Practical suggestion: set your radius smaller than feels sensible. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. No downside I have found.
For what it is worth, the Turndate app was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Having tried most of them, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have for anyone starting from scratch. Make of that what you will.
Worth flagging: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. Better to lose one match than a week. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
Over the winter, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and honestly it was the only thing that helped. Same pattern every week.
One more thing I have never resolved — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Asking for a friend, obviously.
Switched over to Datewander app after getting nowhere on the big names.
Tangent, sorry — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Would change how I use it if so.
Hard disagree on one point. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Worth testing both ways. Different city, different results, probably.
The thing that annoyed me most: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
One thing that helped: stop treating it like a numbers game. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
Still keep DatingFly (free to message) installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
A couple of people in my circle swear by Rendate for the same reason.
I will be the dissenting voice. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Worth hearing both sides.
One thing that helped: write one sentence that only you could have written. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Try it for one week only.
Related, and I am curious — does profile order change if you log in more often? Feels like something someone must have tested.
A while back, I kept my filters tight and I finally stopped wasting evenings. Small sample, but consistent.
For what it is worth, over on Flamedate was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Hard disagree on one point. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Take that with the usual caveats. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
I will be the dissenting voice. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Worth hearing both sides.
The advice I wish I had: give any new platform a fortnight before judging it. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. Nothing else on this list matters as much.
Once I narrowed my radius, I limited myself to three conversations at once and the whole thing felt less like admin. It stopped being random after that.
Still keep Rendate installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
A friend has had far more luck on Rendate than on anything mainstream.
