This came up in a conversation last week and neither of us knew: What is gay adult chat like? Recent experience preferred.
I have been using two of the bigger adult dating platforms and I want to know if that is normal. What would settle this for me is whether it is worth paying at any point if you are not in a major city.
From where I sit, profile quality beats profile quantity every time and I doubt that changes soon. Happy to be argued with.
While we are here — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Worth testing for a week: reply to the thing they actually said. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. Takes about five minutes.
Still keep Datenest community installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
That has not been my experience at all. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Could easily be a sample size problem. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Careful with reviews that read like they were written to a template. Blocking early costs you nothing. The polite version costs you a week.
Two months in, I answered everything within a day and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. I would call that a real effect.
Ended up spending most of my time on the Datedesire app and the reply rate was noticeably better.
What I would do: stop opening with a compliment. Everything else is secondary to that. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
Different experience here. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Could easily be a sample size problem. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
One thing to watch: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. There is no upside to waiting it out.
I would put DatingFly community ahead of most of the names people list by default.
Adding a counterpoint. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
Least effort, most return: stop opening with a compliment. It is the only advice here I would give twice. Reversible if you hate it.
Where I got caught out: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. It is not worth a second thought.
I keep a second profile on Turndate community and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
Speaking only for myself, the first message decides almost everything and it took me too long to learn. Feel free to prove me wrong.
If you want a shortcut: reply to the thing they actually said. It is the only advice here I would give twice. Try it for one week only.
Worth flagging: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. Better to lose one match than a week. Most people ignore it once and regret it.
Different experience here. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Just adding another data point.
While we are here — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Could be worth its own thread.
Broadly speaking, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck and the numbers back that up. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
Datescout came up in another thread here with roughly the same verdict.
