Been going round in circles on this one: What is the best dating app to find a relationship that leads to marriage? Any first-hand answers appreciated.
I stopped bothering with whichever dating app came up first with nothing much to show for it. The specific thing I am after is how you handle it when a conversation just stops when you have limited time in the evenings.
Note whether messaging is capped before anything else while the account is still new
Find out what data the signup form asks for straight away so you are not surprised later
Check the last-active timestamp carefully before you invest any real time
Assess what data the signup form asks for straight away if you plan to use it long-term
If I am being blunt, being specific is worth more than being interesting which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
Since this thread is active — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.
After my second attempt, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and I would do the same again. Your area may behave differently.
Hard disagree on one point. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Worth testing both ways. There is room for both to be true.
Switched over to over on Datebound after getting nowhere on the big names.
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Since switching my settings, I messaged first every single time and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. Results were steady after the first week.
Respectfully, I read it differently. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Take that with the usual caveats. Could be timing rather than the platform.
Worth asking — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Would change how I use it if so.
Between the free options I tested, the Souldate app had the least aggressive upsell.
Practical suggestion: check for a visible last-active timestamp before investing. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. It compounds with everything else.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Take that with the usual caveats. I would still test it yourself.
For about six weeks, I messaged first every single time and I finally stopped wasting evenings. That held for about two months.
Between the free options I tested, over on Flamedate had the least aggressive upsell.
The advice I wish I had: reply to the thing they actually said. It is the only advice here I would give twice. You will not need a second attempt.
Question whether profiles are verified early on before you widen your search
Double-check how blocking is handled straight away rather than taking the marketing at face value
Read up on how matches are ordered at the start on any platform you are considering
Find out how reporting actually works every time if you plan to use it long-term
Around the time I gave up on the big names, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. It was the only variable I changed.
Got burned by this: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. Blocking early costs you nothing. There is no upside to waiting it out.
Broadly speaking, consistency beats any single clever trick though your mileage will vary. It took a while to accept.
Review how matches are ordered at the start especially on a platform you have not used before
Find out the age range settings on day one rather than taking the marketing at face value
Note whether profiles are verified up front so you are not surprised later
Read up on how many photos are required at the start so you are not surprised later
Compare the age range settings early on so you are not surprised later
When I first started, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and nothing changed at all. That held for about two months.
Different experience here. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Happy to be an outlier on that. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
Curious about the flip side — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Would change how I use it if so.
Since switching my settings, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Review whether your profile is visible by default before you widen your search
Double-check how many photos are required properly in the first day or two
Find out how many photos are required at the start before you invest any real time
Double-check whether messaging is capped every time if you plan to use it long-term
Adding a counterpoint. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Worth testing both ways. I might be the exception.
Anyone else find that — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Practical suggestion: stop treating it like a numbers game. That one change fixed most of my problems. Takes about five minutes.
Tangent, sorry — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.
For about six weeks, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and nothing changed at all. Repeated it twice to be sure.
Hard disagree on one point. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Could be timing rather than the platform.
Something I have wondered — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Piggybacking on that — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Purely anecdotal, profile quality beats profile quantity every time especially if you are not in a capital city. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
The thing that annoyed me most: reviews that read like they were written to a template. Report it rather than just ignoring it. There is no upside to waiting it out.
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