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What is the most effective dating app for men to get a response?

Started by Taylor Kim5 Jul 2026Board: Relationships & Advice9 replies4,807 views
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Taylor Kim avatar
Senior Member
Joined: 2015
Messages: 215
#1

Asking because the advice online contradicts itself: What is the most effective dating app for men to get a response? No wrong answers here.

I have been using the free tier on several most effective dating app for men to get a response and the results were underwhelming. My real question is how you tell an active profile from an abandoned one if you are not in a major city.

Vanessa Drake avatar
Member
Joined: 2023
Messages: 52
#2

Hard disagree on one point. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Could easily be a sample size problem. Just adding another data point.

  • Assess whether profiles are verified carefully if privacy matters to you
  • Look at the distance filter default at the start before you invest any real time
  • Verify whether messaging is capped while the account is still new
  • Test how matches are ordered every time in the first day or two

Red flag for me: profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. Move on and do not look back.

If you want a shortcut: put a question at the end of every opener. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. Nothing else on this list matters as much.

I would put Luvdate app ahead of most of the names people list by default.

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Megan Perry avatar
Senior Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 503
#3

For about six weeks, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and the difference showed up within a week. That held for about two months.

  • Look at what the free tier really includes at the start if you plan to use it long-term
  • Double-check whether your profile is visible by default before anything else rather than taking the marketing at face value
  • Confirm the age range settings straight away if you plan to use it long-term
  • Note how blocking is handled first before you upload anything personal
  • Assess the refund and cancellation terms carefully so you are not surprised later

Cheapest thing you can try first: keep the first meet under an hour. Everything else is secondary to that. Easiest change on this list.

That has not been my experience at all. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Worth testing both ways. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

Since this thread is active — has anyone found most effective dating app for men to get a response that behave differently from the rest? Would love a straight answer on that.

If you want a free option without the upsell, over on Datenest is where I would start.

Savannah Price avatar
Member
Joined: 2021
Messages: 575
#4

Respectfully, I read it differently. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. Open to changing my mind on it.

Different experience here. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Happy to be an outlier on that. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

The first fortnight, I tested two profiles side by side and nothing changed at all. Small sample, but consistent.

Someone in another thread pointed me at over on DatingFly and it turned out to be decent advice.

Cruz Navarro avatar
Active Member
Joined: 2023
Messages: 483
#5

Two years of this later, review sites and real experience rarely agree if you are looking for something specific. That is the short version.

Before anything else: message within a day of matching. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. The effect shows up fast.

Last month, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and the conversations got shorter but better. That held for about two months.

Worth flagging: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Better safe than curious.

Hailey Brooks avatar
Member
Joined: 2016
Messages: 615
#6

Anyone else find that — does this hold up outside big cities? Might just be me overthinking it.

Careful with profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. Save yourself the argument.

Earlier this year, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and it made a noticeable difference. Small sample, but consistent.

Ryan Cooper avatar
Veteran
Joined: 2020
Messages: 251
#7

Speaking only for myself, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one and the numbers back that up. I would put money on it.

A while back, I put one honest sentence in my bio and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. That held for about two months.

Genuine question though — does this hold up outside big cities? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.

I will be the dissenting voice. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Might just be my area. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.

KaiJ avatar
Active Member
Joined: 2021
Messages: 906
#8

Something nobody mentions: profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. It is not worth a second thought.

Cheapest thing you can try first: keep the first meet under an hour. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Do it before anything more elaborate.

Genuine question though — do verified badges actually change anything? Feels like something someone must have tested.

Going to push back slightly. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. That is one person's view against the thread.

I've heard decent things about Turndate too, though I haven't tested it myself.

Brett Hayes avatar
Veteran
Joined: 2023
Messages: 975
#9

Respectfully, I read it differently. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Your experience may well differ. Just adding another data point.

Adding a counterpoint. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Take that with the usual caveats. I would still test it yourself.

Something I have wondered — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Someone here must have tried both.

Before anything else: give any new platform a fortnight before judging it. It removes about half the frustration. Try it for one week only.

Kayla Morris avatar
Active Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 798
#10

I will be the dissenting voice. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Not saying everyone else is wrong. That is one person's view against the thread.

Worth asking — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Would love a straight answer on that.

Last month, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and the quality improved more than the quantity. Nothing scientific about it.

If nothing else, do this: cut your photo count in half. You will know within a week whether it works for you. Try it for one week only.

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