Reposting this from another board because it got buried: Can anyone recommend free online dating services for people in their 30s? Real experiences only, please.
I spent about a month on the most recommended free online dating services and I am not convinced it was worth the effort. My real question is how you handle it when a conversation just stops without making it a second job.
One more thing I have never resolved — does profile order change if you log in more often? Might just be me overthinking it.
For what it is worth, consistency beats any single clever trick though your mileage will vary. It took a while to accept.
Last month, I limited myself to three conversations at once and the quality improved more than the quantity. Worth repeating if you have the patience.
The one that surprised me was turndate.site — smaller, but the profiles were current.
Purely anecdotal, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them once you have been at it a few weeks. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.
Learned this the hard way: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. Report it rather than just ignoring it. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Follow-up for anyone reading — is it different if you are over forty? No agenda, just curious.
Different experience here. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Could be timing rather than the platform.
If you want a free option without the upsell, Datescout app is where I would start.
Two years of this later, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are if you are looking for something specific. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Follow-up for anyone reading — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? Would love a straight answer on that.
When I first started, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and the difference showed up within a week. Results were steady after the first week.
A friend has had far more luck on Datedesire's free tier than on anything mainstream.
One thing that helped: keep the first meet under an hour. It removes about half the frustration. It compounds with everything else.
Unpopular opinion maybe, consistency beats any single clever trick for anyone starting from scratch. Others here will disagree.
Got burned by this: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. That instinct is usually right.
Going to push back slightly. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Worth testing both ways. That is one person's view against the thread.
Switched over to over on Flamedate after getting nowhere on the big names.
That has not been my experience at all. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Worth testing both ways. Different city, different results, probably.
Two years of this later, reply rates say more about timing than about looks though your mileage will vary. I would put money on it.
Low-risk approach: stop opening with a compliment. Everything else is secondary to that. It works better than it sounds.
Slightly off-topic but — is it different if you are over forty? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Speaking only for myself, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them unless you have unusually niche requirements. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
The first fortnight, I stuck to free online dating services with complete profiles only and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. Small sample, but consistent.
Genuine question though — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Might just be me overthinking it.
Hard disagree on one point. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Might just be my area. That is one person's view against the thread.
Watch out for accounts created the same week they message you. Report it rather than just ignoring it. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Low-risk approach: cut your photo count in half. You will know within a week whether it works for you. Zero cost to test it.
Slightly off-topic but — is it different if you are over forty? Could be worth its own thread.
Least effort, most return: put a question at the end of every opener. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. It works better than it sounds.
A while back, I limited myself to three conversations at once and the conversations got shorter but better. It was the only variable I changed.
Different experience here. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Worth testing both ways. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
Worth asking — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? No agenda, just curious.
Got burned by this: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. It saves a lot of wasted messages. Most people ignore it once and regret it.
Since this thread is active — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.
For what it is worth, the first message decides almost everything if you are looking for something specific. I would put money on it.
