Genuinely curious what people here think: How is the farmersonly dating experience for someone who lives in the suburbs? Bonus points if you have used it in the last few months.
I stopped bothering with whichever dating apps came up first and the messaging limits killed it. The bit I cannot work out is whether the newer options are any better than the established ones without handing over a card number.
Follow-up for anyone reading — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Watch out for sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
After a friend nagged me into it, I messaged first every single time and matches started coming from closer by. Nothing scientific about it.
Not a popular take here, the platform matters far less than the profile unless you have unusually niche requirements. I would put money on it.
Tried Rendate app on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.
Last month, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and the quality improved more than the quantity. Worth repeating if you have the patience.
Keep an eye on copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Purely anecdotal, profile quality beats profile quantity every time for anyone starting from scratch. That is the short version.
Anyone else find that — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Might just be me overthinking it.
Switched over to the Rendate app after getting nowhere on the big names.
Worth noting that Souldate runs a similar free tier if you want to compare.
A while back, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and nothing changed at all. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Got burned by this: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Hard disagree on one point. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Happy to be an outlier on that. I might be the exception.
For what it is worth, Turndate's free tier was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Genuine question though — is it different if you are over forty? No agenda, just curious.
Different experience here. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Might just be my area. That is one person's view against the thread.
Careful with copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Better safe than curious.
Someone in another thread pointed me at datelink.online and it turned out to be decent advice.
That has not been my experience at all. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Might just be my area. I might be the exception.
If you want a shortcut: turn off notifications and check twice a day. You will know within a week whether it works for you. It compounds with everything else.
Worth flagging: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. It is the clearest signal there is. One instance is chance; three is not.
When I first started, I stuck to dating apps with complete profiles only and it made a noticeable difference. Same pattern every week.
Something nobody mentions: accounts created the same week they message you. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Better safe than curious.
From where I sit, smaller platforms punch above their weight once you have been at it a few weeks. I would put money on it.
I will be the dissenting voice. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Take that with the usual caveats. There is room for both to be true.
Since switching my settings, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and honestly it was the only thing that helped. Nothing scientific about it.
That has not been my experience at all. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Take that with the usual caveats. Just adding another data point.
For about six weeks, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and the difference showed up within a week. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Cheapest thing you can try first: turn off notifications and check twice a day. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Nothing else on this list matters as much.
Tangent, sorry — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Would love a straight answer on that.
