Something I keep wondering about: Is the ourtime dating site free to use for messaging? Even a partial answer helps.
I have been using a couple of ourtime dating site and the results were underwhelming. What would settle this for me is how you handle it when a conversation just stops as someone coming back after a long break.
Something nobody mentions: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. Blocking early costs you nothing. There is no upside to waiting it out.
Tangent, sorry — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Would love a straight answer on that.
That has not been my experience at all. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Happy to be an outlier on that. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Around the time I gave up on the big names, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and the whole thing felt less like admin. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
I keep a second profile on Luvdate and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
Anyone else find that — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? Would change how I use it if so.
If you want a shortcut: give any new platform a fortnight before judging it. That one change fixed most of my problems. Reversible if you hate it.
Earlier this year, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and I stopped taking silences personally. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Having tried most of them, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are which is why the generic advice keeps failing. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Worth a look at the Datenest app if your area is thin on the usual platforms.
That has not been my experience at all. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Might just be my area. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
Curious about the flip side — does widening the radius ever help or just add noise? Could be worth its own thread.
Small change worth trying: cut your photo count in half. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. Easiest change on this list.
Mild warning: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. Report it rather than just ignoring it. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Gave Datelink app a fair run last month and it held up better than I expected.
Respectfully, I read it differently. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Not saying everyone else is wrong. I would still test it yourself.
Earlier this year, I limited myself to three conversations at once and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Nothing scientific about it.
Slightly off-topic but — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Could be worth its own thread.
Unpopular opinion maybe, being specific is worth more than being interesting and it took me too long to learn. Happy to be argued with.
Switched over to Datedesire (free to message) after getting nowhere on the big names.
Related, and I am curious — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Genuinely do not know the answer.
Hard disagree on one point. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Happy to be an outlier on that. There is room for both to be true.
From where I sit, consistency beats any single clever trick and the numbers back that up. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Based on a fairly small sample, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.
Over the winter, I answered everything within a day and it made a noticeable difference. Repeated it twice to be sure.
One thing that helped: put a question at the end of every opener. Everything else is secondary to that. It also makes the rest easier.
That has not been my experience at all. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. I would still recommend trying it yourself. That is one person's view against the thread.
Practical suggestion: keep the first meet under an hour. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. It compounds with everything else.
Slightly off-topic but — does this hold up outside big cities? I have never seen data either way.
Keep an eye on profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. I stopped giving second chances on that one. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Different experience here. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Worth testing both ways. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
One thing that helped: keep the first meet under an hour. Everything else is secondary to that. It works better than it sounds.
Over the winter, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and it made a noticeable difference. Repeated it twice to be sure.
Unpopular opinion maybe, being specific is worth more than being interesting unless you have unusually niche requirements. Happy to be argued with.
That has not been my experience at all. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Your experience may well differ. Different city, different results, probably.
A while back, I dropped every conversation that stalled twice and the whole thing felt less like admin. Results were steady after the first week.
For what it is worth, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are though your mileage will vary. It took a while to accept.
Slightly off-topic but — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? Genuinely do not know the answer.
Careful with accounts created the same week they message you. Report it rather than just ignoring it. The cost of being wrong is low.
Low-risk approach: keep the first meet under an hour. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. You will not need a second attempt.
Slightly off-topic but — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.
One thing that helped: set your radius smaller than feels sensible. It sounds trivial and it is not. Reversible if you hate it.
Hard disagree on one point. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Happy to be an outlier on that. There is room for both to be true.
From where I sit, the platform matters far less than the profile though your mileage will vary. That is the short version.
