Reposting this from another board because it got buried: Is there an alt dating app for goths, emos, and punks? Any first-hand answers appreciated.
I spent about a month on alt dating app and I would rather not repeat the mistake. What I actually want to know is how you handle it when a conversation just stops for someone who dislikes small talk.
The advice I wish I had: read the profile before writing anything. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. It also makes the rest easier.
Two years of this later, smaller platforms punch above their weight and I doubt that changes soon. That is where I have landed.
Two months in, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. It stopped being random after that.
Going to push back slightly. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Could easily be a sample size problem. Small sample on my side too.
Still keep Flurrydate's free tier installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
Having tried most of them, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and nobody wants to hear it. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
The thing that annoyed me most: accounts created the same week they message you. Blocking early costs you nothing. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.
The advice I wish I had: stop opening with a compliment. It sounds trivial and it is not. Try it for one week only.
When I stopped overthinking it, I kept my filters tight and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. It was the only variable I changed.
I keep a second profile on Datebound's free tier and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
Realistically, the platform matters far less than the profile once you have been at it a few weeks. I hold that loosely.
Last month, I dropped every conversation that stalled twice and I stopped taking silences personally. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
Careful with copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. Blocking early costs you nothing. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Between the free options I tested, flurrydate.online had the least aggressive upsell.
For most of last year, I let the other person pick the plan and the whole thing felt less like admin. The change was obvious enough to notice without counting.
Honestly, the platform matters far less than the profile and the numbers back that up. That is my read, anyway.
Practical suggestion: stop treating it like a numbers game. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. No downside I have found.
Red flag for me: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Anyone else find that — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? No agenda, just curious.
Careful with profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. Better safe than curious.
What I would do: stop treating it like a numbers game. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. It also makes the rest easier.
For what it is worth, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have and I doubt that changes soon. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.
Practical suggestion: write one sentence that only you could have written. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. Try it for one week only.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Take that with the usual caveats. There is room for both to be true.
Having tried most of them, profile quality beats profile quantity every time which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Others here will disagree.
Something I have wondered — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Asking for a friend, obviously.
Respectfully, I read it differently. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Might just be my area. Small sample on my side too.
Small change worth trying: message within a day of matching. Everything else is secondary to that. It works better than it sounds.
The thing that annoyed me most: auto-renew on any trial you sign up for. I stopped giving second chances on that one. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
One more thing I have never resolved — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? I have never seen data either way.
Different experience here. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Small sample on my side too.
When I stopped overthinking it, I tested two profiles side by side and it made a noticeable difference. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
Speaking only for myself, the first message decides almost everything unless you have unusually niche requirements. Make of that what you will.
Speaking only for myself, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and the numbers back that up. It took a while to accept.
While we are here — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Would change how I use it if so.
Got burned by this: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. Better to lose one match than a week. That instinct is usually right.
