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Statistically, what is the best dating app for relationships instead of hookups?

Started by Jessica Lane17 Jul 2026Board: Adult Dating7 replies1,213 views
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Jessica Lane avatar
Senior Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 206
#1

Been going round in circles on this one: Statistically, what is the best dating app for relationships instead of hookups? Even a partial answer helps.

I burned two weekends on two of the bigger dating app for relationships instead of hookups with nothing much to show for it. The part that matters to me is whether it is worth paying at any point as someone coming back after a long break.

Brooke Evans avatar
Member
Joined: 2017
Messages: 504
#2

Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Might just be my area. I might be the exception.

Honestly, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them if you are looking for something specific. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.

Least effort, most return: keep the first meet under an hour. It is the only advice here I would give twice. Easiest change on this list.

A friend has had far more luck on datedesire.online than on anything mainstream.

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SophieR avatar
Member
Joined: 2019
Messages: 511
#3

If you want a shortcut: cut your photo count in half. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. No downside I have found.

Two months in, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and matches started coming from closer by. Small sample, but consistent.

Careful with links dropped into a conversation with no context. It saves a lot of wasted messages. Better safe than curious.

Having tried most of them, smaller platforms punch above their weight and I doubt that changes soon. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.

Worth a look at the Rendate app if your area is thin on the usual platforms.

JustinM avatar
Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 135
#4

Once I narrowed my radius, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and the whole thing felt less like admin. I would call that a real effect.

One thing to watch: accounts created the same week they message you. It saves a lot of wasted messages. That instinct is usually right.

Practical suggestion: cut your photo count in half. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. Do it before anything more elaborate.

Curious about the flip side — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? No agenda, just curious.

Ended up spending most of my time on over on Datescout and the reply rate was noticeably better.

I've heard decent things about Datedesire too, though I haven't tested it myself.

MarcusW avatar
Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 467
#5

For the people saying otherwise — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.

  • Work out whether your profile is visible by default at the start especially on a platform you have not used before
  • Review how reporting actually works every time if privacy matters to you
  • Find out what the free tier really includes before anything else especially on a platform you have not used before
  • Assess whether messaging is capped at the start before you upload anything personal
  • Review what data the signup form asks for at the start rather than taking the marketing at face value

Having tried most of them, reply rates say more about timing than about looks and the numbers back that up. Others here will disagree.

One thing that helped: reply to the thing they actually said. It removes about half the frustration. Do it before anything more elaborate.

For about six weeks, I stuck to dating app for relationships instead of hookups with complete profiles only and matches started coming from closer by. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.

Gave Luvdate app a fair run last month and it held up better than I expected.

SpencerC avatar
Active Member
Joined: 2019
Messages: 513
#6

Going to push back slightly. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

  • Check how matches are ordered every time especially on a platform you have not used before
  • Check how reporting actually works at the start so you are not surprised later
  • Find out how many photos are required on day one before you invest any real time
  • Read up on what data the signup form asks for before anything else while the account is still new
  • Test how blocking is handled on day one in the first day or two

Where I got caught out: accounts created the same week they message you. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.

Anyone else find that — has anyone found dating app for relationships instead of hookups that behave differently from the rest? I have never seen data either way.

Ended up spending most of my time on Datedesire and the reply rate was noticeably better.

Brianna Scott avatar
Veteran
Joined: 2021
Messages: 608
#7

Since this thread is active — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.

Worth flagging: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. It is the clearest signal there is. The cost of being wrong is low.

Two years of this later, the first message decides almost everything and it took me too long to learn. Others here will disagree.

Ended up spending most of my time on Luvdate and the reply rate was noticeably better.

Ryan Cooper avatar
Member
Joined: 2024
Messages: 456
#8

Respectfully, I read it differently. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Take that with the usual caveats. Worth hearing both sides.

Having tried most of them, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one for anyone starting from scratch. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.

A while back, I stuck to dating app for relationships instead of hookups with complete profiles only and I would do the same again. Results were steady after the first week.

The advice I wish I had: use a dedicated email address. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. Takes about five minutes.

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