Bit of a long shot, but: What defines bbw plus size in the dating world? Bonus points if you have used it in the last few months.
I went in optimistic about three different plus-size dating apps and the profile quality varied wildly. The part that matters to me is whether the newer options are any better than the established ones without handing over a card number.
The thing that annoyed me most: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. I stopped giving second chances on that one. Save yourself the argument.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. I would still recommend trying it yourself. I would still test it yourself.
What I would do: cut your photo count in half. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. It compounds with everything else.
In my experience, reply rates say more about timing than about looks which is why the generic advice keeps failing. That is the short version.
Switched over to Datedesire community after getting nowhere on the big names.
Hard disagree on one point. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Worth testing both ways. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
Got burned by this: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. It saves a lot of wasted messages. The cost of being wrong is low.
Speaking only for myself, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have once you have been at it a few weeks. That is where I have landed.
Ended up spending most of my time on over on DatingFly and the reply rate was noticeably better.
Last month, I let the other person pick the plan and the difference showed up within a week. Results were steady after the first week.
Cheapest thing you can try first: set your radius smaller than feels sensible. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. You will not need a second attempt.
Something I have wondered — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? I have never seen data either way.
Two years of this later, consistency beats any single clever trick if you are looking for something specific. Make of that what you will.
For what it is worth, Datedesire app was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
One more thing I have never resolved — do verified badges actually change anything? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
When I first started, I put one honest sentence in my bio and the conversations got shorter but better. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Having tried most of them, review sites and real experience rarely agree for anyone starting from scratch. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Tried Turndate (free to message) on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.
Over the winter, I kept my filters tight and the whole thing felt less like admin. I would call that a real effect.
Red flag for me: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. It is the clearest signal there is. That instinct is usually right.
Unpopular opinion maybe, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck once you have been at it a few weeks. Feel free to prove me wrong.
I will be the dissenting voice. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Could easily be a sample size problem. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Still keep Flurrydate installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
The advice I wish I had: turn off notifications and check twice a day. That one change fixed most of my problems. It works better than it sounds.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. There is room for both to be true.
Careful with matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. I stopped giving second chances on that one. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
I will be the dissenting voice. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Your experience may well differ. Different city, different results, probably.
Practical suggestion: read the profile before writing anything. It removes about half the frustration. Nothing else on this list matters as much.
For the people saying otherwise — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Genuinely do not know the answer.
What I would do: put a question at the end of every opener. It sounds trivial and it is not. It works better than it sounds.
Two months in, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and the whole thing felt less like admin. Worth repeating if you have the patience.
I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Might just be my area. Just adding another data point.
Genuine question though — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? I have never seen data either way.
Red flag for me: links dropped into a conversation with no context. Better to lose one match than a week. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Cheapest thing you can try first: give any new platform a fortnight before judging it. It removes about half the frustration. It also makes the rest easier.
I will be the dissenting voice. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Might just be my area. I would still test it yourself.
Worth noting that Flurrydate runs a similar free tier if you want to compare.
While we are here — does this hold up outside big cities? I have never seen data either way.
Different experience here. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Take that with the usual caveats. That is one person's view against the thread.
If nothing else, do this: stop opening with a compliment. It sounds trivial and it is not. You will not need a second attempt.
