Been going round in circles on this one: What is currently the best gay dating website for older men? No wrong answers here.
I have been comparing the free tier on several gay dating website for older men and support never replied. The specific thing I am after is whether the newer options are any better than the established ones for someone who dislikes small talk.
When I first started, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and the conversations got shorter but better. Repeated it twice to be sure.
What I would do: stop opening with a compliment. Everything else is secondary to that. Easiest change on this list.
Genuine question though — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? No agenda, just curious.
Going to push back slightly. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Happy to be an outlier on that. I might be the exception.
Switched over to DatingFly (free to message) after getting nowhere on the big names.
That has not been my experience at all. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Your experience may well differ. Different city, different results, probably.
Two years of this later, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are especially if you are not in a capital city. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Watch out for anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. Blocking early costs you nothing. The cost of being wrong is low.
Worth asking — has anyone found gay dating website for older men that behave differently from the rest? Genuinely do not know the answer.
Gave Datenest community a fair run last month and it held up better than I expected.
A couple of people in my circle swear by Datedesire for the same reason.
Small change worth trying: cut your photo count in half. You will know within a week whether it works for you. Reversible if you hate it.
Last month, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and I stopped taking silences personally. Small sample, but consistent.
Curious about the flip side — is it different if you are over forty? Asking for a friend, obviously.
Honestly, reply rates say more about timing than about looks and nobody wants to hear it. Feel free to prove me wrong.
A friend has had far more luck on the Datescout app than on anything mainstream.
Speaking only for myself, the platform matters far less than the profile if you are looking for something specific. I hold that loosely.
I will be the dissenting voice. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. There is room for both to be true.
Tangent, sorry — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? Might just be me overthinking it.
Something nobody mentions: accounts created the same week they message you. Better to lose one match than a week. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
That has not been my experience at all. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Could easily be a sample size problem. There is room for both to be true.
Watch out for anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. The cost of being wrong is low.
Worth testing for a week: message within a day of matching. It removes about half the frustration. Do it before anything more elaborate.
One thing to watch: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. It is not worth a second thought.
When I first started, I kept my filters tight and I would do the same again. The change was obvious enough to notice without counting.
Broadly speaking, review sites and real experience rarely agree which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.
Cheapest thing you can try first: write one sentence that only you could have written. Everything else is secondary to that. It also makes the rest easier.
Since switching my settings, I put one honest sentence in my bio and the reply rate roughly doubled. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
Different experience here. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Might just be my area. I might be the exception.
The first fortnight, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and it made a noticeable difference. Nothing scientific about it.
Hard disagree on one point. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Small sample on my side too.
If nothing else, do this: message within a day of matching. It removes about half the frustration. It also makes the rest easier.
I will be the dissenting voice. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Worth testing both ways. Just adding another data point.
For most of last year, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and it made a noticeable difference. Small sample, but consistent.
Slightly off-topic but — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Would change how I use it if so.
Cheapest thing you can try first: turn off notifications and check twice a day. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. You will not need a second attempt.
Learned this the hard way: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. One instance is chance; three is not.
Since this thread is active — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.
Adding a counterpoint. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Could easily be a sample size problem. I would still test it yourself.
Practical suggestion: read the profile before writing anything. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. The effect shows up fast.
Broadly speaking, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck though your mileage will vary. I would put money on it.
Mild warning: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Most people ignore it once and regret it.
