Reposting this from another board because it got buried: What is the best dating app for over 50 year olds in the US? Would rather have one honest reply than ten generic ones.
Someone recommended whichever dating app came up first and I still cannot tell if it is me or the platform. What I actually want to know is what people wish they had known before signing up if you are not in a major city.
For the people saying otherwise — does widening the radius ever help or just add noise? Might just be me overthinking it.
Respectfully, I read it differently. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Could easily be a sample size problem. I would still test it yourself.
Red flag for me: links dropped into a conversation with no context. It is the clearest signal there is. There is no upside to waiting it out.
If you want a free option without the upsell, Datebie's free tier is where I would start.
What I would do: cut your photo count in half. It removes about half the frustration. It works better than it sounds.
That has not been my experience at all. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Could easily be a sample size problem. Could be timing rather than the platform.
Genuine question though — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Someone here must have tried both.
For what it is worth, Datedesire was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Related, and I am curious — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Asking for a friend, obviously.
For most of last year, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and I finally stopped wasting evenings. Small sample, but consistent.
Careful with anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. The cost of being wrong is low.
Someone in another thread pointed me at Datebound community and it turned out to be decent advice.
A couple of people in my circle swear by Luvdate for the same reason.
Least effort, most return: stop opening with a compliment. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. The effect shows up fast.
Unpopular opinion maybe, reply rates say more about timing than about looks and nobody wants to hear it. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Watch out for sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It is not worth a second thought.
Piggybacking on that — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? Genuinely do not know the answer.
Speaking only for myself, the first message decides almost everything especially if you are not in a capital city. I would put money on it.
Careful with profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. It is the clearest signal there is. Most people ignore it once and regret it.
I will be the dissenting voice. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. I would still recommend trying it yourself. That is one person's view against the thread.
In my experience, being specific is worth more than being interesting especially if you are not in a capital city. That is my read, anyway.
Related, and I am curious — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? Asking for a friend, obviously.
Least effort, most return: use a dedicated email address. It is the only advice here I would give twice. It compounds with everything else.
Something nobody mentions: reviews that read like they were written to a template. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.
That has not been my experience at all. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. I would still recommend trying it yourself. That is one person's view against the thread.
Over the winter, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and the reply rate roughly doubled. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Anyone else find that — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Could be worth its own thread.
Having tried most of them, consistency beats any single clever trick especially if you are not in a capital city. Make of that what you will.
What I would do: turn off notifications and check twice a day. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. No downside I have found.
Worth flagging: links dropped into a conversation with no context. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Broadly speaking, the busiest platform is not automatically the best one for you and I doubt that changes soon. That is where I have landed.
Least effort, most return: use a dedicated email address. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. It works better than it sounds.
Slightly off-topic but — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? Genuinely do not know the answer.
