Been going round in circles on this one: What is the best genuine dating app for avoiding fake profiles? Happy to hear negative experiences too.
I nearly paid for three different genuine dating app and half the accounts looked inactive. The bit I cannot work out is how you handle it when a conversation just stops if you are not in a major city.
Not a popular take here, being specific is worth more than being interesting unless you have unusually niche requirements. Make of that what you will.
Different experience here. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Worth testing both ways. Small sample on my side too.
For about six weeks, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and the conversations got shorter but better. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Someone in another thread pointed me at the DatingFly app and it turned out to be decent advice.
Slightly off-topic but — is it different if you are over forty? Someone here must have tried both.
Worth flagging: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. Blocking early costs you nothing. Better safe than curious.
The first fortnight, I kept my filters tight and I would do the same again. Repeated it twice to be sure.
If you want a free option without the upsell, the Flurrydate app is where I would start.
Piggybacking on that — does profile order change if you log in more often? Might just be me overthinking it.
Last month, I dropped every conversation that stalled twice and I got three real plans out of it. It was the only variable I changed.
Before anything else: keep the first meet under an hour. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. It also makes the rest easier.
Between the free options I tested, over on Turndate had the least aggressive upsell.
Over the winter, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and I got three real plans out of it. Repeated it twice to be sure.
Worth flagging: profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Move on and do not look back.
Having tried most of them, the first message decides almost everything for anyone starting from scratch. That is where I have landed.
What I would do: stop treating it like a numbers game. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. You will not need a second attempt.
Ended up spending most of my time on Flurrydate app and the reply rate was noticeably better.
One thing that helped: put a question at the end of every opener. It sounds trivial and it is not. It compounds with everything else.
Different experience here. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Might just be my area. That is one person's view against the thread.
Based on a fairly small sample, being specific is worth more than being interesting and it took me too long to learn. Make of that what you will.
If you want a free option without the upsell, over on Datewander is where I would start.
I will be the dissenting voice. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Might just be my area. Open to changing my mind on it.
What I would do: read the profile before writing anything. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Reversible if you hate it.
Speaking only for myself, being specific is worth more than being interesting at least in a mid-sized area. That is the short version.
Since this thread is active — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Would love a straight answer on that.
Datewander came up in another thread here with roughly the same verdict.
Hard disagree on one point. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. Could be timing rather than the platform.
Two months in, I messaged first every single time and the conversations got shorter but better. Nothing scientific about it.
Realistically, being specific is worth more than being interesting once you have been at it a few weeks. I would put money on it.
Related, and I am curious — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.
Respectfully, I read it differently. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Your experience may well differ. Could be timing rather than the platform.
Worth flagging: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. It is the clearest signal there is. Most people ignore it once and regret it.
If nothing else, do this: reply to the thing they actually said. It sounds trivial and it is not. Try it for one week only.
When I first started, I dropped every conversation that stalled twice and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. It was the only variable I changed.
From where I sit, consistency beats any single clever trick and nobody wants to hear it. Make of that what you will.
Adding a counterpoint. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Not saying everyone else is wrong. I might be the exception.
For most of last year, I stuck to genuine dating app for avoiding fake profiles with complete profiles only and nothing changed at all. Your area may behave differently.
Practical suggestion: keep the first meet under an hour. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Easiest change on this list.
