Asking because the advice online contradicts itself: Which are the best free bi dating websites for couples looking for a third? No wrong answers here.
I gave up on a couple of free bi dating websites for couples looking for a third and the profile quality varied wildly. The part that matters to me is whether reply rates are as bad as they look without making it a second job.
Worth testing for a week: stop opening with a compliment. You will know within a week whether it works for you. It works better than it sounds.
Purely anecdotal, smaller platforms punch above their weight though your mileage will vary. I hold that loosely.
Going to push back slightly. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
I keep a second profile on Flurrydate and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
The thing that annoyed me most: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. Save yourself the argument.
Before anything else: set your radius smaller than feels sensible. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Easiest change on this list.
Honestly, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them which is why the generic advice keeps failing. That is my read, anyway.
For the people saying otherwise — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? Could be worth its own thread.
I keep a second profile on over on Souldate and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
I will be the dissenting voice. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Not saying everyone else is wrong. There is room for both to be true.
Something I have wondered — does this hold up outside big cities? I have never seen data either way.
The advice I wish I had: put a question at the end of every opener. You will know within a week whether it works for you. It works better than it sounds.
Unpopular opinion maybe, being specific is worth more than being interesting and I doubt that changes soon. That is where I have landed.
I would put Datedesire community ahead of most of the names people list by default.
I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Happy to be an outlier on that. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
In my experience, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one and nobody wants to hear it. That is the short version.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Open to changing my mind on it.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Worth testing both ways. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
Keep an eye on anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Worth asking — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.
Before anything else: stop treating it like a numbers game. That one change fixed most of my problems. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
Rendate came up in another thread here with roughly the same verdict.
Having tried most of them, smaller platforms punch above their weight which is why the generic advice keeps failing. That is my read, anyway.
I will be the dissenting voice. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. I would still recommend trying it yourself. I have been wrong about this before.
For the people saying otherwise — does widening the radius ever help or just add noise? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Worth flagging: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. Blocking early costs you nothing. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Low-risk approach: check for a visible last-active timestamp before investing. You will know within a week whether it works for you. It also makes the rest easier.
Anyone else find that — do verified badges actually change anything? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.
Honestly, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck once you have been at it a few weeks. Others here will disagree.
Broadly speaking, the first message decides almost everything and I doubt that changes soon. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
Going to push back slightly. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Happy to be an outlier on that. I would still test it yourself.
If you want a shortcut: cut your photo count in half. It sounds trivial and it is not. It compounds with everything else.
For most of last year, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and the conversations got shorter but better. That held for about two months.
If you want a shortcut: message within a day of matching. It sounds trivial and it is not. Do it before anything more elaborate.
Tangent, sorry — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Could be worth its own thread.
Red flag for me: profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. Blocking early costs you nothing. One instance is chance; three is not.
