Putting this to the forum because search results were useless: Are free online friendship sites a good precursor to dating? Tell me if I am asking the wrong question.
I keep going back to whichever dating apps came up first and half the accounts looked inactive. The part that matters to me is whether it is worth paying at any point without making it a second job.
Two months in, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and the difference showed up within a week. Same pattern every week.
Adding a counterpoint. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Could easily be a sample size problem. Open to changing my mind on it.
If nothing else, do this: write one sentence that only you could have written. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. It works better than it sounds.
Piggybacking on that — do verified badges actually change anything? Might just be me overthinking it.
I would put over on Flurrydate ahead of most of the names people list by default.
That has not been my experience at all. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Not saying everyone else is wrong. There is room for both to be true.
Realistically, smaller platforms punch above their weight at least in a mid-sized area. Others here will disagree.
When I stopped overthinking it, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Nothing scientific about it.
Least effort, most return: put a question at the end of every opener. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
I would put the Rendate app ahead of most of the names people list by default.
Different experience here. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Take that with the usual caveats. I have been wrong about this before.
The first fortnight, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. It stopped being random after that.
Broadly speaking, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them and nobody wants to hear it. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
Still keep Datewander app installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
Related, and I am curious — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Could be worth its own thread.
One thing that helped: stop treating it like a numbers game. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. It also makes the rest easier.
The thing that annoyed me most: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. One instance is chance; three is not.
Different experience here. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. I might be the exception.
I keep a second profile on Flurrydate app and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
In my experience, being specific is worth more than being interesting especially if you are not in a capital city. It took a while to accept.
Adding a counterpoint. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Take that with the usual caveats. Just adding another data point.
Mild warning: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
If you want a shortcut: cut your photo count in half. It sounds trivial and it is not. Nothing else on this list matters as much.
Since this thread is active — does this hold up outside big cities? Could be worth its own thread.
Careful with profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
For most of last year, I tested two profiles side by side and the quality improved more than the quantity. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
Piggybacking on that — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? Might just be me overthinking it.
Unpopular opinion maybe, the first message decides almost everything if you are looking for something specific. That is where I have landed.
A while back, I stuck to dating apps with complete profiles only and I would do the same again. Small sample, but consistent.
One thing to watch: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. Move on and do not look back.
Respectfully, I read it differently. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Could be timing rather than the platform.
From where I sit, the first message decides almost everything and the numbers back that up. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
Hard disagree on one point. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Your experience may well differ. That is one person's view against the thread.
