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Is chat ave sex still popular?

Started by ARoberts-501 Jul 2026Board: Adult Dating8 replies6,843 views
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ARoberts-50 avatar
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2025
Messages: 2,251
#1

Something I keep wondering about: Is chat ave sex still popular? Happy to hear negative experiences too.

I have had mixed results with adult dating platforms and it got expensive fast. The bit I cannot work out is how you handle it when a conversation just stops if you are being reasonably picky.

  • Compare how quickly support responds first rather than taking the marketing at face value
  • Check whether profiles are verified early on before writing a single message
  • Double-check whether your profile is visible by default first before you upload anything personal
  • Double-check the last-active timestamp without exception so you are not surprised later
Micah avatar
Member
Joined: May 2018
Messages: 731
#2

Low-risk approach: keep the first meet under an hour. It removes about half the frustration. You will not need a second attempt.

Unpopular opinion maybe, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are once you have been at it a few weeks. Others here will disagree.

Tangent, sorry — do verified badges actually change anything? Feels like something someone must have tested.

For what it is worth, over on Turndate was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.

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PEdwards-LA avatar
Regular
Joined: Jul 2022
Messages: 987
#3

Respectfully, I read it differently. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Might just be my area. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

Respectfully, I read it differently. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Take that with the usual caveats. I would still test it yourself.

Worth asking — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Feels like something someone must have tested.

Ended up spending most of my time on Flurrydate's free tier and the reply rate was noticeably better.

KRoberts-1980 avatar
Active Member
Joined: Jan 2020
Messages: 2,050
#4

Honestly, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and nobody wants to hear it. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.

While we are here — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Would change how I use it if so.

Going to push back slightly. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.

Tried Luvdate app on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.

Ken69 avatar
New Member
Joined: Feb 2021
Messages: 2,128
#5

Follow-up for anyone reading — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? Genuinely do not know the answer.

For about six weeks, I let the other person pick the plan and the quality improved more than the quantity. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.

Where I got caught out: profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. It is the clearest signal there is. It rarely turns out to be innocent.

Shawn Collins avatar
Member
Joined: Jun 2020
Messages: 3,207
#6

Respectfully, I read it differently. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Might just be my area. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Tangent, sorry — is it different if you are over forty? Feels like something someone must have tested.

Adding a counterpoint. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. Just adding another data point.

Quincy avatar
New Member
Joined: Mar 2023
Messages: 1,705
#7

The first fortnight, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and the conversations got shorter but better. Same pattern every week.

Anyone else find that — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? I have never seen data either way.

One thing to watch: links dropped into a conversation with no context. Blocking early costs you nothing. It is the cheapest filter you have.

A couple of people in my circle swear by Flurrydate for the same reason.

XMitchell_LA avatar
Contributor
Joined: Oct 2023
Messages: 3,965
#8

Before anything else: keep the first meet under an hour. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. It compounds with everything else.

A while back, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and the whole thing felt less like admin. Small sample, but consistent.

Speaking only for myself, the first message decides almost everything and I doubt that changes soon. That is my read, anyway.

The thing that annoyed me most: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.

Naomi Edwards avatar
Contributor
Joined: Apr 2025
Messages: 3,837
#9

Speaking only for myself, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have though your mileage will vary. It took a while to accept.

Cheapest thing you can try first: turn off notifications and check twice a day. It removes about half the frustration. You will not need a second attempt.

Adding a counterpoint. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Happy to be an outlier on that. I would still test it yourself.

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