Is the elite dating site actually selective about who joins?

Bit of a long shot, but: Is the elite dating site actually selective about who joins? Any first-hand answers appreciated.

I keep going back to whichever elite dating site about who joins came up first and I want to know if that is normal. The part that matters to me is how you handle it when a conversation just stops without making it a second job.

• Test whether profiles are verified before anything else so you are not surprised later
• Compare how many photos are required properly if you plan to use it long-term
• Work out the age range settings at the start before you widen your search

That has not been my experience at all. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Take that with the usual caveats. Different city, different results, probably.

Worth flagging: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.

Different experience here. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. I would still recommend trying it yourself. I might be the exception.

Still keep Ezhookups's free tier installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.

What I would do: stop treating it like a numbers game. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. Reversible if you hate it.

Tangent, sorry — is it different if you are over forty? No agenda, just curious.

For most of last year, I dropped every conversation that stalled twice and the difference showed up within a week. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.

A friend has had far more luck on over on Luvdate than on anything mainstream.

Based on a fairly small sample, smaller platforms punch above their weight unless you have unusually niche requirements. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.

• Compare how quickly support responds at the start if privacy matters to you
• Question whether profiles are verified straight away before you invest any real time
• Question whether profiles are verified first before writing a single message
• Assess what the free tier really includes early on in the first day or two

Two months in, I ran a minimal profile on elite dating site and the difference showed up within a week. It stopped being random after that.

Least effort, most return: stop opening with a compliment. That one change fixed most of my problems. Nothing else on this list matters as much.

I would put rendate.site ahead of most of the names people list by default.

Last month, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and the reply rate roughly doubled. Results were steady after the first week.

Since this thread is active — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Would love a straight answer on that.

Having tried most of them, profile quality beats profile quantity every time and nobody wants to hear it. That is where I have landed.

A couple of people in my circle swear by DatingFly for the same reason.

Different experience here. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Happy to be an outlier on that. There is room for both to be true.

Something nobody mentions: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. I stopped giving second chances on that one. That instinct is usually right.

I will be the dissenting voice. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Take that with the usual caveats. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Slightly off-topic but — is a shorter bio genuinely better or just easier to write? Someone here must have tried both.

Adding a counterpoint. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.

• Look at whether messaging is capped straight away so you are not surprised later
• Find out how reporting actually works carefully on any platform you are considering
• Check how reporting actually works early on if privacy matters to you
• Confirm what the free tier really includes carefully while the account is still new
• Look at the distance filter default straight away so you are not surprised later

Respectfully, I read it differently. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Take that with the usual caveats. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.

For the people saying otherwise — do verified badges actually change anything? Feels like something someone must have tested.

Cheapest thing you can try first: put a question at the end of every opener. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. It compounds with everything else.

I will be the dissenting voice. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Could easily be a sample size problem. I might be the exception.

Since switching my settings, I limited myself to three conversations at once and nothing changed at all. Results were steady after the first week.

Honestly, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck especially if you are not in a capital city. It is a boring answer and a true one.

Worth asking — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Would love a straight answer on that.

Different experience here. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Might just be my area. Just adding another data point.

Broadly speaking, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are unless you have unusually niche requirements. It is a boring answer and a true one.

If nothing else, do this: stop treating it like a numbers game. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. It works better than it sounds.

Respectfully, I read it differently. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Take that with the usual caveats. Different city, different results, probably.

The advice I wish I had: read the profile before writing anything. You will know within a week whether it works for you. Zero cost to test it.

Keep an eye on auto-renew on any trial you sign up for. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. Move on and do not look back.

For the people saying otherwise — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Could be worth its own thread.

That has not been my experience at all. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Could easily be a sample size problem. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Earlier this year, I messaged first every single time and I got three real plans out of it. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.

Adding a counterpoint. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Could easily be a sample size problem. Worth hearing both sides.

Two years of this later, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one once you have been at it a few weeks. The exceptions are rarer than people think.

Slightly off-topic but — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Might just be me overthinking it.

When I stopped overthinking it, I messaged first every single time and the whole thing felt less like admin. Results were steady after the first week.