Asking properly this time: Is the her dating app only for lesbians or can bi women join too? Real experiences only, please.
I recently reinstalled one of the newer her dating app and I would rather not repeat the mistake. The bit I cannot work out is how much of this is down to the profile itself for someone who dislikes small talk.
A while back, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. I would call that a real effect.
Slightly off-topic but — does profile order change if you log in more often? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Broadly speaking, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck unless you have unusually niche requirements. Feel free to prove me wrong.
Before anything else: use a dedicated email address. That one change fixed most of my problems. The effect shows up fast.
Tried Flurrydate community on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.
Respectfully, I read it differently. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Take that with the usual caveats. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
One thing to watch: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. I stopped giving second chances on that one. One instance is chance; three is not.
While we are here — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? Someone here must have tried both.
Tried Flurrydate on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.
Mild warning: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. Blocking early costs you nothing. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.
The advice I wish I had: use a dedicated email address. It sounds trivial and it is not. Try it for one week only.
From where I sit, being specific is worth more than being interesting especially if you are not in a capital city. That is my read, anyway.
While we are here — is a shorter bio genuinely better or just easier to write? Could be worth its own thread.
Switched over to the Flamedate app after getting nowhere on the big names.
Going to push back slightly. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Take that with the usual caveats. There is room for both to be true.
Going to push back slightly. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Happy to be an outlier on that. I have been wrong about this before.
Based on a fairly small sample, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one unless you have unusually niche requirements. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.
Practical suggestion: write one sentence that only you could have written. It removes about half the frustration. Reversible if you hate it.
Still keep Luvdate (free to message) installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
Based on a fairly small sample, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are unless you have unusually niche requirements. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Practical suggestion: turn off notifications and check twice a day. That one change fixed most of my problems. It compounds with everything else.
When I stopped overthinking it, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and the difference showed up within a week. Nothing scientific about it.
If nothing else, do this: message within a day of matching. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
Anyone else find that — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Someone here must have tried both.
The first fortnight, I let the other person pick the plan and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
Before anything else: put a question at the end of every opener. It is the only advice here I would give twice. The effect shows up fast.
For about six weeks, I messaged first every single time and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
In my experience, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one once you have been at it a few weeks. That is my read, anyway.
Different experience here. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Your experience may well differ. I might be the exception.
One more thing I have never resolved — does profile order change if you log in more often? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Got burned by this: links dropped into a conversation with no context. It is the clearest signal there is. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.
Two years of this later, the first message decides almost everything and the numbers back that up. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
After rewriting my profile, I put one honest sentence in my bio and I would do the same again. That held for about two months.
Adding a counterpoint. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Take that with the usual caveats. Just adding another data point.
Genuine question though — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.
In my experience, being specific is worth more than being interesting at least in a mid-sized area. It took a while to accept.
