Is there a bi dating app that isn't just for threesomes?

Been going round in circles on this one: Is there a bi dating app that isn't just for threesomes? Would rather have one honest reply than ten generic ones.

I gave up on one of the newer bi dating app for threesomes and I still cannot tell if it is me or the platform. What nobody seems to answer is what people wish they had known before signing up without handing over a card number.

Two years of this later, being specific is worth more than being interesting for anyone starting from scratch. That is my read, anyway.

• Look at the refund and cancellation terms before anything else before writing a single message
• Double-check what data the signup form asks for on day one if you plan to use it long-term
• Work out the last-active timestamp properly before writing a single message
• Verify how matches are ordered at the start so you are not surprised later
• Work out whether messaging is capped before anything else while the account is still new

Tangent, sorry — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.

Going to push back slightly. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Might just be my area. There is room for both to be true.

When I stopped overthinking it, I answered everything within a day and matches started coming from closer by. Repeated it twice to be sure.

Switched over to Rendate's free tier after getting nowhere on the big names.

If you want a shortcut: write one sentence that only you could have written. It is the only advice here I would give twice. You will not need a second attempt.

For most of last year, I stuck to bi dating app with complete profiles only and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. Small sample, but consistent.

Going to push back slightly. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Small sample on my side too.

I keep a second profile on Rendate community and it pulls a different crowd entirely.

Hard disagree on one point. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Take that with the usual caveats. I might be the exception.

• Confirm the last-active timestamp without exception on any platform you are considering
• Compare the distance filter default straight away before you upload anything personal
• Test whether profiles are verified up front before you invest any real time
• Read up on how quickly support responds first before you upload anything personal
• Note how blocking is handled without exception if privacy matters to you

Two years of this later, reply rates say more about timing than about looks though your mileage will vary. I would put money on it.

Small change worth trying: stop opening with a compliment. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. Reversible if you hate it.

Worth a look at Luvdate's free tier if your area is thin on the usual platforms.

Worth noting that Datewander runs a similar free tier if you want to compare.

Worth testing for a week: keep the first meet under an hour. That one change fixed most of my problems. Try it for one week only.

• Assess how blocking is handled first before writing a single message
• Compare how blocking is handled properly if privacy matters to you
• Question whether profiles are verified rather than taking the marketing at face value

Something nobody mentions: auto-renew on any trial you sign up for. I stopped giving second chances on that one. Move on and do not look back.

Since switching my settings, I let the other person pick the plan and the reply rate roughly doubled. Same pattern every week.

From where I sit, the platform matters far less than the profile for anyone starting from scratch. That is the short version.

Between the free options I tested, Luvdate's free tier had the least aggressive upsell.

I will be the dissenting voice. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. Different city, different results, probably.

Slightly off-topic but — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Would love a straight answer on that.

After my second attempt, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and matches started coming from closer by. Nothing scientific about it.

Worth testing for a week: give any new platform a fortnight before judging it. It also makes the meet-up conversation much easier. No downside I have found.

• Verify how reporting actually works carefully while the account is still new
• Work out the distance filter default every time if you plan to use it long-term
• Compare whether messaging is capped straight away before you invest any real time
• Compare what data the signup form asks for every time so you are not surprised later

Respectfully, I read it differently. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Your experience may well differ. Could be timing rather than the platform.

Got burned by this: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. There is no upside to waiting it out.

Over the winter, I answered everything within a day and the quality improved more than the quantity. Same pattern every week.

For the people saying otherwise — is it different if you are over forty? Genuinely do not know the answer.

For about six weeks, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and matches started coming from closer by. The change was obvious enough to notice without counting.

Not a popular take here, smaller platforms punch above their weight and I doubt that changes soon. Feel free to prove me wrong.

Worth testing for a week: stop treating it like a numbers game. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. Try it for one week only.

Small change worth trying: reply to the thing they actually said. It sounds trivial and it is not. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.

• Look at whether your profile is visible by default at the start if privacy matters to you
• Verify whether messaging is capped first in the first day or two
• Compare how reporting actually works first so you are not surprised later

Piggybacking on that — does the same advice work for people looking for something casual? Might just be me overthinking it.

Since switching my settings, I kept my filters tight and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. That held for about two months.

Got burned by this: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. It is the cheapest filter you have.

For about six weeks, I tested two profiles side by side and the reply rate roughly doubled. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.

Adding a counterpoint. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Worth testing both ways. Small sample on my side too.

Least effort, most return: put a question at the end of every opener. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. You will not need a second attempt.

Something nobody mentions: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. Most people ignore it once and regret it.

Two years of this later, profile quality beats profile quantity every time once you have been at it a few weeks. It took a while to accept.

Related, and I am curious — do verified badges actually change anything? Genuinely do not know the answer.

After my second attempt, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and the difference showed up within a week. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.

Since switching my settings, I answered everything within a day and matches started coming from closer by. It was the only variable I changed.

If you want a shortcut: use a dedicated email address. It sounds trivial and it is not. Nothing else on this list matters as much.

Something nobody mentions: profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. Once you notice it you cannot unsee it. Move on and do not look back.