Reposting this from another board because it got buried: Is there a friendship and dating site that allows for both? Happy to hear negative experiences too.
I spent about a month on whichever friendship and dating site for both came up first and support never replied. The bit I cannot work out is how you avoid wasting a fortnight on the wrong platform before committing any real time to it.
Hard disagree on one point. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. I would still recommend trying it yourself. There is room for both to be true.
Tangent, sorry — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.
After a friend nagged me into it, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and I got three real plans out of it. That held for about two months.
Ended up spending most of my time on DatingFly app and the reply rate was noticeably better.
Different experience here. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Could easily be a sample size problem. I might be the exception.
Where I got caught out: auto-renew on any trial you sign up for. It saves a lot of wasted messages. One instance is chance; three is not.
Hard disagree on one point. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Small sample on my side too.
I keep a second profile on Luvdate and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
Learned this the hard way: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. Blocking early costs you nothing. The polite version costs you a week.
Broadly speaking, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and nobody wants to hear it. It took a while to accept.
Piggybacking on that — is it worth keeping profiles on two platforms at once? Someone here must have tried both.
Between the free options I tested, luvdate.site had the least aggressive upsell.
Respectfully, I read it differently. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Your experience may well differ. I have been wrong about this before.
Least effort, most return: keep the first meet under an hour. That one change fixed most of my problems. Takes about five minutes.
Once I narrowed my radius, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. It was the only variable I changed.
Follow-up for anyone reading — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.
A friend has had far more luck on Datedesire's free tier than on anything mainstream.
I will be the dissenting voice. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Could easily be a sample size problem. Just adding another data point.
That has not been my experience at all. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.
Worth flagging: matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.
Unpopular opinion maybe, smaller platforms punch above their weight and it took me too long to learn. Others here will disagree.
Something I have wondered — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Before anything else: stop opening with a compliment. It removes about half the frustration. Do it before anything more elaborate.
For what it is worth, being specific is worth more than being interesting at least in a mid-sized area. Make of that what you will.
Careful with reviews that read like they were written to a template. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It is the cheapest filter you have.
Follow-up for anyone reading — does this hold up outside big cities? Might just be me overthinking it.
For about six weeks, I stuck to friendship and dating site with complete profiles only and the quality improved more than the quantity. Your area may behave differently.
Something I have wondered — does widening the radius ever help or just add noise? Would change how I use it if so.
Different experience here. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Worth testing both ways. I have been wrong about this before.
Broadly speaking, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have and nobody wants to hear it. That is the short version.
Tangent, sorry — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? I have never seen data either way.
If you want a shortcut: stop treating it like a numbers game. You will know within a week whether it works for you. You will not need a second attempt.
After my second attempt, I answered everything within a day and nothing changed at all. That held for about two months.
I will be the dissenting voice. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Happy to be an outlier on that. I would still test it yourself.
A couple of people in my circle swear by Datewander for the same reason.
