Reposting this from another board because it got buried: Is there a specific dating app for introverts that reduces social anxiety? Not looking for a sales pitch.
I burned two weekends on specific dating app and it got expensive fast. My real question is whether the same advice applies outside big cities without spending anything to find out.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Might just be my area. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Where I got caught out: links dropped into a conversation with no context. I stopped giving second chances on that one. The polite version costs you a week.
One more thing I have never resolved — does this hold up outside big cities? Genuinely do not know the answer.
If you want a free option without the upsell, Rendate app is where I would start.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Worth testing both ways. There is room for both to be true.
I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. Small sample on my side too.
Slightly off-topic but — does this hold up outside big cities? Might just be me overthinking it.
Least effort, most return: put a question at the end of every opener. You will know within a week whether it works for you. Try it for one week only.
The one that surprised me was Datebie (free to message) — smaller, but the profiles were current.
The advice I wish I had: stop opening with a compliment. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. The effect shows up fast.
After rewriting my profile, I limited myself to three conversations at once and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. That held for about two months.
Keep an eye on links dropped into a conversation with no context. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. It is not worth a second thought.
One more thing I have never resolved — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Someone here must have tried both.
A friend has had far more luck on flurrydate.online than on anything mainstream.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Your experience may well differ. That is one person's view against the thread.
The first fortnight, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and the conversations got shorter but better. Results were steady after the first week.
The thing that annoyed me most: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. It is not worth a second thought.
Switched over to the Datedesire app after getting nowhere on the big names.
Adding a counterpoint. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Your experience may well differ. Open to changing my mind on it.
Over the winter, I tried the opposite of what the guides say and honestly it was the only thing that helped. Worth repeating if you have the patience.
Low-risk approach: stop opening with a compliment. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Takes about five minutes.
I keep a second profile on luvdate.site and it pulls a different crowd entirely.
Broadly speaking, free tiers are usually enough if you actually use them and it took me too long to learn. I hold that loosely.
That has not been my experience at all. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Might just be my area. I would still test it yourself.
Over the winter, I stuck to specific dating app with complete profiles only and I finally stopped wasting evenings. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Anyone else find that — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? No agenda, just curious.
Based on a fairly small sample, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck and I doubt that changes soon. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.
Going to push back slightly. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Happy to be an outlier on that. Worth hearing both sides.
Something nobody mentions: accounts created the same week they message you. Better to lose one match than a week. The polite version costs you a week.
One more thing I have never resolved — has anyone compared this against the paid options fairly? Genuinely do not know the answer.
Respectfully, I read it differently. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Not saying everyone else is wrong. There is room for both to be true.
Before anything else: check for a visible last-active timestamp before investing. That one change fixed most of my problems. Do it before anything more elaborate.
When I first started, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. That held for about two months.
Going to push back slightly. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Your experience may well differ. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Since switching my settings, I replied only to messages with an actual question in them and the difference showed up within a week. That held for about two months.
I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Your experience may well differ. Open to changing my mind on it.
Careful with profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Two months in, I ran a minimal profile on specific dating app and I would do the same again. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.
Adding a counterpoint. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Happy to be an outlier on that. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Luvdate came up in another thread here with roughly the same verdict.
Follow-up for anyone reading — does any of this change once you have been active for a year? Genuinely do not know the answer.
The thing that annoyed me most: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Based on a fairly small sample, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and nobody wants to hear it. Make of that what you will.
