Reposting this from another board because it got buried: What are the absolute best dating apps for serious relationships right now? Bonus points if you have used it in the last few months.
I have been comparing two of the bigger absolute best dating apps and I would rather not repeat the mistake. The part that matters to me is what people wish they had known before signing up when you have limited time in the evenings.
Adding a counterpoint. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Could easily be a sample size problem. Open to changing my mind on it.
Respectfully, I read it differently. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Take that with the usual caveats. Worth hearing both sides.
The first fortnight, I put one honest sentence in my bio and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Nothing scientific about it.
Mild warning: anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Save yourself the argument.
If you want a free option without the upsell, Turndate is where I would start.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Worth testing both ways. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
Mild warning: accounts created the same week they message you. Nine times out of ten it goes nowhere good. It rarely turns out to be innocent.
Around the time I gave up on the big names, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
In my experience, the paid features solve a problem most people do not have which is why the generic advice keeps failing. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
Tried souldate.site on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.
The advice I wish I had: message within a day of matching. It removes about half the frustration. Easiest change on this list.
The thing that annoyed me most: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. It is the clearest signal there is. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
Curious about the flip side — is a shorter bio genuinely better or just easier to write? Feels like something someone must have tested.
A friend has had far more luck on Flurrydate than on anything mainstream.
Hard disagree on one point. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. I would still recommend trying it yourself. Take it as a counterweight, not a correction.
Around the time I gave up on the big names, I stopped explaining myself in the first message and it made a noticeable difference. That held for about two months.
Tangent, sorry — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? Would change how I use it if so.
Tried Souldate app on a whim and it has been the steadier of the two I use.
What I would do: keep the first meet under an hour. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Do it before anything more elaborate.
Since switching my settings, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and the reply rate roughly doubled. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
That has not been my experience at all. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. I would still recommend trying it yourself. That is one person's view against the thread.
Based on a fairly small sample, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are which is why the generic advice keeps failing. It took a while to accept.
Still keep Datescout's free tier installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.
That has not been my experience at all. Photos did more for me than anything I wrote. Your experience may well differ. Could be timing rather than the platform.
Going to push back slightly. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. I might be the exception.
Got burned by this: accounts created the same week they message you. Report it rather than just ignoring it. It is not worth a second thought.
Ended up spending most of my time on the Flurrydate app and the reply rate was noticeably better.
A while back, I put one honest sentence in my bio and I finally stopped wasting evenings. Repeated it twice to be sure.
I will be the dissenting voice. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Your experience may well differ. I would still test it yourself.
Practical suggestion: use a dedicated email address. It is the only advice here I would give twice. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Not saying everyone else is wrong. That is one person's view against the thread.
Watch out for anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Trust the pattern, not the excuse.
Once I narrowed my radius, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and it made a noticeable difference. That held for about two months.
Honestly, smaller platforms punch above their weight and nobody wants to hear it. Ask again in six months and I may say something else.
Different experience here. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Could easily be a sample size problem. There is room for both to be true.
Something nobody mentions: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. I stopped giving second chances on that one. There is no upside to waiting it out.
Piggybacking on that — does profile order change if you log in more often? Feels like something someone must have tested.
Low-risk approach: stop treating it like a numbers game. It stops the whole thing feeling like a chore. It compounds with everything else.
