This came up in a conversation last week and neither of us knew: What are the best apps to get laid quickly in a new city? Details matter more than opinions here.
I have been using a couple of dating apps and I am not convinced it was worth the effort. The bit I cannot work out is how long it normally takes before anything happens when you have limited time in the evenings.
Going to push back slightly. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Not saying everyone else is wrong. I have been wrong about this before.
Two months in, I kept my filters tight and I would do the same again. Your area may behave differently.
Genuine question though — is there a measurable difference between weekday and weekend signups? No agenda, just curious.
Switched over to Datewander after getting nowhere on the big names.
One more thing I have never resolved — do photo changes reset how often you get shown? No agenda, just curious.
Before anything else: stop treating it like a numbers game. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. Nothing else on this list matters as much.
Earlier this year, I put one honest sentence in my bio and it turned out the profile was the problem, not the platform. Same pattern every week.
Someone in another thread pointed me at DatingFly and it turned out to be decent advice.
For what it is worth, most of the difference comes down to how close people actually are and I doubt that changes soon. That is my read, anyway.
Hard disagree on one point. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. Worth testing both ways. Could be timing rather than the platform.
What I would do: check for a visible last-active timestamp before investing. It removes about half the frustration. Do it before anything more elaborate.
A friend has had far more luck on Souldate community than on anything mainstream.
One thing that helped: keep the first meet under an hour. It sounds trivial and it is not. You will not need a second attempt.
Piggybacking on that — does profile order change if you log in more often? Asking for a friend, obviously.
Last month, I stuck to dating apps in a new city with complete profiles only and the difference showed up within a week. I would call that a real effect.
For what it is worth, DatingFly's free tier was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Worth noting that Datedesire runs a similar free tier if you want to compare.
If I am being blunt, the first message decides almost everything at least in a mid-sized area. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
What I would do: cut your photo count in half. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Nothing else on this list matters as much.
When I stopped overthinking it, I ignored anything without a visible last-active date and nothing changed at all. It was the only variable I changed.
Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Not saying everyone else is wrong. Open to changing my mind on it.
Broadly speaking, review sites and real experience rarely agree and I doubt that changes soon. That is the short version.
Over the winter, I kept photos to four and cut the rest and I stopped taking silences personally. Same pattern every week.
I will be the dissenting voice. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Not saying everyone else is wrong. I have been wrong about this before.
Before anything else: reply to the thing they actually said. It made conversations shorter and far more useful. The effect shows up fast.
For the people saying otherwise — does widening the radius ever help or just add noise? Someone here must have tried both.
I will be the dissenting voice. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Could easily be a sample size problem. Different city, different results, probably.
Honestly, being specific is worth more than being interesting and I doubt that changes soon. It is a boring answer and a true one.
