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What are the dating apps for gay women that focus on serious dating?

Started by Owen Price22 Jul 2026Board: LGBTQ+ Dating11 replies695 views
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Owen Price avatar
Senior Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 594
#1

Something I keep wondering about: What are the dating apps for gay women that focus on serious dating? Not looking for a sales pitch.

I have been comparing three different are the dating apps on serious dating and the matches were nowhere near me. My real question is how you tell an active profile from an abandoned one as someone coming back after a long break.

  • Confirm whether your profile is visible by default properly in the first day or two
  • Test the refund and cancellation terms carefully especially on a platform you have not used before
  • Check the age range settings straight away on any platform you are considering
  • Confirm what the free tier really includes at the start if privacy matters to you
Sierra Owens avatar
Senior Member
Joined: 2017
Messages: 134
#2

When I first started, I tested two profiles side by side and I got three real plans out of it. Worth repeating if you have the patience.

That has not been my experience at all. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. Genuinely not trying to be difficult.

Watch out for anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. It saves a lot of wasted messages. Most people ignore it once and regret it.

Still keep rendate.site installed for the weeks when the bigger apps go quiet.

Browsing is free in Djibouti City — so is messaging
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Marcus Webb avatar
Senior Member
Joined: 2017
Messages: 687
#3

Adding a counterpoint. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. I would still recommend trying it yourself. That is one person's view against the thread.

  • Work out how many photos are required carefully on any platform you are considering
  • Read up on how blocking is handled first so you are not surprised later
  • Question the distance filter default properly before you invest any real time

Cheapest thing you can try first: cut your photo count in half. It removes about half the frustration. It works better than it sounds.

Realistically, the platform matters far less than the profile once you have been at it a few weeks. Others here will disagree.

Since this thread is active — does widening the radius ever help or just add noise? No agenda, just curious.

If you want a free option without the upsell, Datedesire community is where I would start.

Brittany Shaw avatar
Member
Joined: 2020
Messages: 672
#4

Cheapest thing you can try first: reply to the thing they actually said. That one change fixed most of my problems. It works better than it sounds.

  • Work out the last-active timestamp at the start if privacy matters to you
  • Assess whether profiles are verified carefully before writing a single message
  • Compare what data the signup form asks for at the start if privacy matters to you

Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Worth testing both ways. Small sample on my side too.

For what it is worth, how you handle a stalled conversation matters more than how you start one which is why the generic advice keeps failing. Make of that what you will.

Watch out for matches that go quiet the moment you suggest meeting. I stopped giving second chances on that one. The polite version costs you a week.

I keep a second profile on turndate.site and it pulls a different crowd entirely.

Ethan Parker avatar
Member
Joined: 2023
Messages: 506
#5

Not sure I agree with the thread so far. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Your experience may well differ. I would still test it yourself.

Unpopular opinion maybe, consistency beats any single clever trick though your mileage will vary. Feel free to prove me wrong.

Related, and I am curious — has anyone tracked whether reply rates change by day of the week? Happy to be pointed at an old thread.

Between the free options I tested, Flurrydate app had the least aggressive upsell.

Amber Walsh avatar
Active Member
Joined: 2017
Messages: 77
#6

That has not been my experience at all. The niche options were quieter to the point of being useless. Happy to be an outlier on that. Just adding another data point.

Unpopular opinion maybe, smaller platforms punch above their weight unless you have unusually niche requirements. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.

Mild warning: auto-renew on any trial you sign up for. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Most people ignore it once and regret it.

AnnaK avatar
Senior Member
Joined: 2024
Messages: 968
#7

Broadly speaking, being specific is worth more than being interesting which is why the generic advice keeps failing. It took a while to accept.

Something nobody mentions: profiles that only ever reply in the small hours. I stopped giving second chances on that one. Move on and do not look back.

Hard disagree on one point. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Worth testing both ways. That is one person's view against the thread.

TravisK avatar
Active Member
Joined: 2016
Messages: 421
#8

Two years of this later, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck though your mileage will vary. I hold that loosely.

  • Question how many photos are required early on before you widen your search
  • Compare the distance filter default every time before writing a single message
  • Read up on what the free tier really includes especially on a platform you have not used before
  • Review how blocking is handled before anything else before writing a single message
  • Review whether messaging is capped first before you upload anything personal

Piggybacking on that — does anyone bother deleting and remaking a profile? Would change how I use it if so.

Adding a counterpoint. I never once had a problem the community here warns about. I would still recommend trying it yourself. I might be the exception.

SammyG avatar
Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 137
#9

For about six weeks, I put one honest sentence in my bio and I got three real plans out of it. I tracked it loosely and the trend was clear.

Having tried most of them, the first message decides almost everything for anyone starting from scratch. It took a while to accept.

Watch out for anything pushing you off the platform in the first two messages. That pattern has been consistent for me across platforms. It is the cheapest filter you have.

AlexisT avatar
Veteran
Joined: 2020
Messages: 155
#10

For the people saying otherwise — does this hold up outside big cities? Would change how I use it if so.

For most of last year, I answered everything within a day and matches started coming from closer by. Results were steady after the first week.

Adding a counterpoint. Messaging first made no measurable difference in my case. Your experience may well differ. I have been wrong about this before.

Keep an eye on profiles with a single photo and no last-active date. Report it rather than just ignoring it. Most people ignore it once and regret it.

Mason Gray avatar
Member
Joined: 2022
Messages: 398
#11

Worth flagging: anyone asking for a phone number before a proper conversation. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. It is the cheapest filter you have.

  • Assess the last-active timestamp carefully before writing a single message
  • Work out the refund and cancellation terms up front if privacy matters to you
  • Double-check the distance filter default without exception if privacy matters to you
  • Double-check the last-active timestamp early on especially on a platform you have not used before

Before anything else: cut your photo count in half. You will know within a week whether it works for you. The effect shows up fast.

For the people saying otherwise — is a shorter bio genuinely better or just easier to write? Genuinely do not know the answer.

Different experience here. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Worth testing both ways. Small sample on my side too.

Naomi Bell avatar
Active Member
Joined: 2019
Messages: 837
#12

Curious about the flip side — does profile order change if you log in more often? I have never seen data either way.

I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Take that with the usual caveats. Just adding another data point.

Honestly, the algorithm gets blamed for a lot of ordinary bad luck for anyone starting from scratch. Make of that what you will.

Over the winter, I stuck to are the dating apps on serious dating with complete profiles only and it saved me a lot of pointless typing. Same pattern every week.

Worth noting that Turndate runs a similar free tier if you want to compare.

Free to join, free to message in Samarinda
Setting up a Samarinda profile takes under a minute and costs nothing.

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