Reposting this from another board because it got buried: What are the top dating apps for older singles who want to travel together? Even a partial answer helps.
A friend talked me into the free tier on several dating apps and support never replied. Where I need help is what people wish they had known before signing up if you are not in a major city.
Before anything else: reply to the thing they actually said. That one change fixed most of my problems. Zero cost to test it.
If I am being blunt, consistency beats any single clever trick unless you have unusually niche requirements. The exceptions are rarer than people think.
For about six weeks, I let the other person pick the plan and the conversations got shorter but better. Could be luck; it did not feel like it.
If you want a free option without the upsell, Rendate is where I would start.
If you want a shortcut: turn off notifications and check twice a day. It filters out the time-wasters immediately. It also makes the rest easier.
Around the time I gave up on the big names, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and I stopped taking silences personally. Nothing scientific about it.
I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Might just be my area. Not dismissing anyone else's experience.
Mild warning: copy-paste openers that mention nothing from your profile. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. Nobody has ever thanked me for being patient there.
For what it is worth, over on DatingFly was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
Hard disagree on one point. The platform genuinely does matter if you are outside a major city. Happy to be an outlier on that. Just adding another data point.
Unpopular opinion maybe, smaller platforms punch above their weight especially if you are not in a capital city. Happy to be argued with.
Curious about the flip side — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? Would change how I use it if so.
Ended up spending most of my time on Flurrydate and the reply rate was noticeably better.
When I stopped overthinking it, I stopped sending openers before 9pm and nothing changed at all. The change was obvious enough to notice without counting.
Where I got caught out: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. It saves a lot of wasted messages. One instance is chance; three is not.
The advice I wish I had: use a dedicated email address. You will know within a week whether it works for you. Skip the clever stuff until you have done that.
For what it is worth, Datedesire was the one that finally got me past the first-message stage.
I will be the dissenting voice. I found the bigger sites more consistent, not less. Could easily be a sample size problem. That is one person's view against the thread.
Hard disagree on one point. Being picky early saved me far more time than being open-minded did. Worth testing both ways. Could be timing rather than the platform.
One thing to watch: anything that wants payment before you can read a reply. It is almost never worth the benefit of the doubt. There is no upside to waiting it out.
Before anything else: turn off notifications and check twice a day. Most people skip it and then wonder why nothing happens. Easiest change on this list.
I will be the dissenting voice. Free tiers stopped being enough for me after about a month. Take that with the usual caveats. I would still test it yourself.
Anyone else find that — does this hold up outside big cities? Could be worth its own thread.
Least effort, most return: cut your photo count in half. It costs nothing and the difference shows quickly. It also makes the rest easier.
For the people saying otherwise — do smaller platforms actually have better ratios? It comes up every few months and never gets settled.
Slightly off-topic but — is it different if you are over forty? Would love a straight answer on that.
Honestly, review sites and real experience rarely agree and I doubt that changes soon. Nothing controversial in that, I hope.
Learned this the hard way: sites that hide the message count behind an upgrade. I stopped giving second chances on that one. It is the cheapest filter you have.
A couple of people in my circle swear by Datebie for the same reason.
